turned 28 the other day sadly. cheers, I will not be a grudge holding baby about it if possible. When I get threatened I react either with passive-aggresive argument or by trying not to cry and not being able to speak a reasoned sentence, even tho I am calm and reasoned in my mind. there is a barrier of upsetness that prevents me saying 'your just doing your job I know, I will try harder and not do XYZ, I do want this job.' etc. Ideally I'd just 'grow some bollocks' and 'be a man about it' but physiologically I am fixed with the ones I already have.

I think its a combo of depleted blood sugar and the feeling that fucking with my job is a direct attack on my life. like I'll die if I get fired, which obv. is not true but mentally I will have failed at something I'm trying fucking hard to do and that will undoubtedly spin me into a lonely anti-social depression. Equally they want to push me to give everything I've got to this job, lines have to be drawn or I'll get constant misinterpretation and abuse. I just want to get on with everyone and have fun, get paid.

I'll give offering value and being the best worker possible a go. thanks for listening to my moanings.