Friday Night – Went on a date with a girl. She’s a hottie. Short blonde hair, size 8, boob job, botox, nice legs, nice arse etc. Picked her up. Went for a drink. BUT she was so boring with a personality of a gold fish. I didn’t mind initiating conversation but when I had to do it all the time, I got annoyed and frustrated. I thought she might be more talkative during the meal and with a few more drinks. She looked at the menu and she didn’t fancy any of the food. Stupid bitch. So she ordered a soup which she didn’t even touch. So I told her she was boring and I didn’t want to spend time with her. Went to the car, put the music on loud and I didn’t bother talking all the way back to hers. She called and woke me up at 4am to have a go at me for driving past the red light. Whilst she was babbling, I said bye and put the phone down. What a complete bitch.

Saturday Night – Took a train to Glasgow to go on a night out with a Hot Scottish bird. Very attractive, Long brown hair, Size 10, nice arse although small tits, intelligent, successful, ambitious – Perfecto!!. In a word, my definition of a HB10. Spent the evening in different bars, laughing, chatting, teasing, kissing, drinking, dancing. Around midnight, she said “can I be upfront with you, can we just go back and have sex”. My jaw dropped. Jumped on a taxi and made love all night and in the morning. Apart from my ex wife, she was by far the hottest girl I have been on a date with. Well is started gone downhill from then on: I made the grandest mistake of being needy and telling her that I really liked her and wanted to see her more often and maybe wanting more than a casual fling. WTF!!!! This might have spooked her, I don’t know. But the texting has since stopped. Not heard from her since Sunday night. I am so gutted. I am so smitten by this Scottish girl and I fucking blew it. Forget about living in abundance, I would have settled down with this girl. All the stuffs I learnt about being the alpha male was fine from the time I met her until after we made passionate love, and then I turned into a big, needy wimp…! What the fuck is wrong with me? Now I can’t stop thinking of her….! Please, grab a gun and shoot me!