Loving the "Bounce 4 Life" sig SE baby!

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I find I perform well when out with lads from the forum. When alone my state tends to drop and I chode around knowing I should be approaching and getting into my high energy imprint/persona, but just mope around like an east African tree sloth on morphine, which is to say not do much at all.

When I am with a friend who knows about the community and wants to see me "in action", I go into sloth mode again. Attached to the outcome and not wanting him to form a negative opinion of me, I find I'd rather just fluff talk about the game and not actually do anything. Then again when I'm out with someone and they "challenge" me to show them what I can do, poof(!) that high energy party dude is back.

With the forum lads, failure doesn't matter. Everyone knows the score and is putting in effort, getting rejected, getting in-set and we're all part of the same party. Bottom line, if there are wings from the forum about, my game improves.

A lot of it has to do with my ego as well. Well all of it has to do with my ego

Could be showing off. Could be not wanting to appear weak. Whatever it is, I am glad I've got it as it transforms me into the monster you usually meet on weekend nights

Edit: Of course I do realise ideally this shouldn't be the case and my state should depend on my desire on what I want it to be and not on my circumstances at that moment. Work in progress!