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My main issue appears to be that sometimes I feel self conscious and become tongue tied, whereas other times I am completely confident. The psychology behind the difference remains a mystery to me and is an ongoing personal work in progress! Comments on this are welcome too!
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Third parties are also an issue. For example I am bad at chatting up girls when my close friends are around I've noticed (likewise I become tongue tied around clients at work when my bosses are there). I'm not sure if this is because I subconciously think they are judging me or if I am somehow intimidated by by friends?! Whatever it is I want to develop tehcniques to minimise these occurances.
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The above is from my first ever post here and was one of the reasons I joined this site. This is still an issue for me and I really don't know what to do about it. I resent hanging out with my 3 closest friends because of it. In fact I would go so far as to say I now actively dislike hanging out with these friends and try to avoid doing so. It's really fucked up!
Let me tell you a bit about my Friday:
I met up with my 3 friends I mentioned. We went to Secret Cinema, which is a cool themed night where you dress up and do missions and things in a hidden venue in London. The theme is always a film and you watch the film at the end.
Anyway the moment I met my friends I felt lame and unsociable. It is getting worse and worse when I meet them as they know I am avoiding them and mentioned it several times.
The whole night I barely talked to anyone, which is unlike me. To make me feel worse 1 of my mates is being charming as hell to very bird he speaks to and they are all digging him, which made me very aware I wasn't.
It got to the point where I was talking to a girl (heaven forbid!). She wasn't all that to be honest, but at least I was being sociable and she was digging me. Then my mates came to join me and I just clammed up and stopped talking. I just felt unbelievably self-conscious! This continued throughout the night and I felt lame as hell.
The same thing happened in a clothes store recently when I opened a girl and was with 1 of these mates and just couldn't think of anything to say to the girl, because I was too self conscious around him.
Does anyone else get this?
I'm never going to be the genuine authentic person I want to be if my personality is changing around different people!
Anyway, these appear to be my options:
1) Stop hanging out with my friends - seems extreme and silly!
2) Do nothing and accept the fact I'm going to be lame around them.
3) Talk to my friends - they will probably find this odd.
4) I think I am scared of looking like I am crap with women around them. In fact it has got a lot worse since I told 2 of them about
PUA. Perhaps if I just went out and got myself rejected in front of them and learnt its no big deal I would be fine!
5) Just man the fuck up and stop crying about a weird thing that doesn't exist - I do recognise this, but psychology is a weird thing and even if you're aware of something doesn't always mean you know how to fix it.
Bit of a strange one I know, but feel it's a real monkey on my back right now!