Couple tips:

Use something directly from her profile, in your subject line. It increases the rate of response, because it shows you’ve actually read her profile and are not just another drooling idiot.

You have some of the right ideas about teasing, self-deprecation and push/pull…I can see you’ve put some thought into what you say. However, the timing is off and they feel a little contrived, as though you’re exerting yourself, stretching to gain her interest. Try to make it shorter, simpler, more pithy, more reckless. Personally I'd hold off the more involved teasing and whatnot until your second message.

Having a stand out profile is crucial, lots of great photos of you doing things and surrounded by people. In your description, talk about what inspires you, not what you’re accomplishments are (which is what everyone else does). Be simple, direct and honest about what you’re looking for. Don’t set an impossible standard though as girls are insecure, but do make it subtly known that you’re no pushover (not explicitly)…you have to do a bit of this to stand out from all the hundreds of other approval seeking profiles she’s getting bombarded with.

Keep your wits about you though, I’ve come across some blatant liars and nut jobs so far.

PS