Man that was great advice from the guys above.

The Deida book is a great idea, the language in it is a bit fluffy but I think Jaz is right it would help you. The flexibility of your personality is an important life skill, “he who is the most flexible can influence the system”, but it’s confusing her as to your real character.

She needs to feel that you’re solid, stable, that you have integrity, so she can relax and fall in love with you, and not panic that you’re going to break her heart any minute. It’s self preservation on her part.

By the same token, if you let her start pecking you into doing whatever she wants, it’ll never end and she’ll ultimately resent you for being weak. Just go out and see all the pathetic husbands following their wives orders everywhere you look, and the divorce rate that goes with it.

Strike that balance.

PS