Craigus’ last post made me remember this little tip. Not quite the same scenario, but powerful stuff.

A lot of girls have been knocked around, if not sexually abused in varying degrees. This leaves some girls with negative experiences of men, yet attraction for you. These competing drives (attraction vs self preservation, be it emotional or otherwise) will cause hot and cold behaviour and a great deal of time and frustrated effort, so you have two options with a girl who has been through something like this:

a) Strongly consider just saying “next”, apply standard “game” techniques or move on, it’s not your place to save the world and may well lead to a pile of hurt for you to get involved with…in other words, solid valuable “game” advice. The majority of the time, this is the choice.
b) If, and I mean if, however you’re genuinely into her and want to lead her through this, you’ll have to do just that: lead her.

If you go for “b”, this is what you do.

When kissing, whisper to her “We’re going to try this: quietly say the word “stop” to me”, she may be confused and you may have to re-prompt her to say it “go on, quietly say the word “stop” to me”. When she does, back off from kissing and being intimate, sit a metre away from her, and smile at her with eye contact for a few seconds, then go back in again. If she queries you, authoritatively say "never mind just trust me", and start kissing her again passionately. Do this two or three times as you escalate and things move well pass kissing. If she questions you about what’s going on, or even if she doesn’t, make sure to tell her “look, I want you to really understand I’m not like other men you may have known, I find you sexy as hell, but I will never hurt you or make you feel afraid. I want you to feel safe with me so you can let go and enjoy your sexuality”…or words to that effect. These are not just words, these are words with actions too, actions in the heat of the moment no less. That's why you make her say it and carry out the steps.

What does this say about you? It says you’re aware. It says you’re mature enough to take your share of the responsibility as the man with her. It says you are not afraid for her to stop you, that you welcome it if she so chooses. You have to actually be at peace with stopping. There is always the chance she will cease on the opportunity to stop you if it becomes too much for her. If she does, maybe think again about her, or maybe give her time, it's up to you. There is a strong chance this will save you a lot of trouble going forward if successful, or if you decide to move on, either way. In all probability, she’ll rip your clothes off and tell you to shut up…because what you’ve done is the opposite of every other guy who has pressured her into sex. You can use this to build massive sexual tension, not to mention and break down future barriers that she might have otherwise randomly thrown up at a later date just when you thought you were getting somewhere.

The critical part throughout here is your sub-communication. If you’re doing this from a grovelling “beta” frame giving her the power and asking her to lead, it won’t work. At all. If however you’re doing it from a place of maturity and dominance, taking her under your wing, she’ll love you for it. Doesn’t mean this is only reserved for LTR girls, but just think about it for these situations. It’s like Einstein said “you can’t solve a problem with the same level of thinking that created it”.

PS