Quote:
Originally Posted by scamp
Fellas,
Haven’t been on here for a while but something occurred to me the other day and I wanted a bit of feedback
So I ended up having a bit of a drunken makeout with this girl mate of mine and when I next see her she has the massive hump with me. Turns out she wants a “relationship” with me, but to be honest I just don’t fancy her. Anyway so I say some stuff about not thinking we would be compatible.
The point is this stuff is always happening to me, I can’t just makeout with a girl without her turning into a stage five clinger.
It’s the kind of opposite of what Phil posted a while ago about girls NOT wanting a relationship and seeing him as a bit of a cad.
I talked to my ex fb, Rach about it and she said that I give off a “certain vibe” that makes girls think I am a “relationship guy” therefore if I do get off to them they have certain expectations.
Point is (in my long and rambling way) I’ve been in successive LTR’s all my life and just want to spend some time having a bit of fun.
But how do I change the “vibe” I am giving off?
How do I get across that I’m just into Casual stuff at the moment? Behaviours I need to adopt etc
I know there is a lot of RSD stuff on here and that is all “be your best self” etc
But if I use the “relationship guy” thing to my advantage, yes I could get lots of sex by misleading girls into thinking I want a LTR with them.
BUT (and it’s a big but) that would make me a cunt.
Thoughts?
|
Long answer short, make it clear that you're single but not looking to get into a relationship immediately, don't close the option off because I'm pretty sure you would if the right girl came along, just make it clear that you're not in any rush right now, you just want to enjoy yourself.
It's usually not hard to work this into conversation, provided it happens before the bedroom then nobody can complain. Continue to make your intentions clear to people if you do have ongoing things with them, always let people know where they stand with you and you're all set.
What some people do is to avoid getting into things with anyone because they think they might end up getting hurt. You don't need to do this, you don't need to actively seek to protect other people. If you've made it clear to them where they stand with you and what you're looking for then they have the choice of continuing or doing anything with you.
That said, if someone does say that they're looking for something more from you and you're not, then it's over. The important thing is that everyone knows where they stand though and if you keep people informed and explain yourself things generally go down very well.
People appreciate emotional honesty.