In an ideal world this would be true. But I don't think any amount of 'carry myself right' or 'social or mental adjustment' could have gotten me 'in' with the girl that once told me (after an innocent indirect opener) to 'fuck off' because she 'doesn't do pakis'

That's a blow out, from a racist. Made doubly annoying as I'm not in anyway shape or form from pakistan.

Obviously I chalked that silly bint up as a racist and moved on. But I think this issue is a bit more complex than that. And it's NOT a state of mind/limiting belief thing. Afterall it's not nessarily 'racist' to have a 'preference' and very often race is a factor in that preference for some girls/guys (and it can cut both ways).

Example:
I went on holiday with a bunch of mates. One of whom is black, tall, sporty and proper stacked. There was this group of older white english women on the beach and staying in the place opposite...and they were literally salivating over him the whole time. We called them 'the fan club' and he literally could have banged all of them. I have never see sexual interest this telegraphed from a group of women in my life. It honestly boarder on sexual harrassment...But he's a bit of saint and outrageously picky so he didn't take any of em up. He was just embarssed and kinda annoyed. And the rest of us found the whole thing hillarious and kept telling him to just pick one of them get it over and done with...

They weren't even esp bad looking, they were just like in their 40s/50s. But he was having none of it. The joker.