Okay. People tend to say that ultimatums are needy. However I beg to differ. An ultimatum, if worded correctly can be used to clearly define and set your boundaries.

I have used them to great effect on a couple of occasions recently. I got a strict Catholic girl back to my pad a couple of weeks ago and she tried to LMR me. I simply froze her out and told her that I don't do non sexual relationships.

She asked me how important sex was to me in a relationship. I responded that maybe it is not the single most important thing as there are other elements such as trust and compatibility, but it is fundamental. No sex, no way forward. This is an ultimatum. She then had sex with me.

Another girl kept me waiting for too long and in the end I had to tell her, "Look, I don't do platonic relationships with women. If you are hanging out with me and kissing me, then it needs to go somewhere sexual. Otherwise it is frustrating. So decide what you want and get back to me when you think you are ready." Sure enough, she called me a week later and we had sex.

What do you guys think? What represents a needy vs a non needy ultimatum? I think there is a difference. In my opinion, if you are perfectly willing to walk away unless things move in the direction you want then you are just demonstrating that you know what you want and you have clear boundaries of what you will and will not tolerate.