I was reading some Shunryu Suzuki's 'Zen Mind, Beginners Mind' last night and read something that I think kinda relates to your post. The quotes paraphrased.
Quote:
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In your practice, have no particular goal or purpose. Whatever it is, if your practice is directed towards some particular object it will not always work.
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I think if you converse with women just for the sake of conversing with women rather than to attain some invisible goal or level you might find more peace of mind.