I do it at the end of the set, when she has to leave. It definitely works if she likes you. I've had a few snogs out of it. It's fun to do and takes away KLA (kiss lunge anxiety).
Your adaptation sounds good to go.
I did it the other night with an African chick when she had to go join her friends. This time it did not result in a k-close, but we both got a great laugh out of it and she actually invited me to come join her with her friends. I turned down the offer as I was waiting for a two set I was with who had just gone to the bathroom (together).
I did it about a week ago with an Italian girl. It did not end in a kiss either but a cuddle and some laughter. I bumped into her a couple of nights later and was soon stroking her legs (as she was standing and I was sitting).
We k-closed that night. The following day I went to her house and boned her after like an hour of being there. The
LMR was so "token" it was laughable (in retrospect).