CONT...

GAY OPENER
Preferably used with a wing and with a game-show host/party host attitude. "I need your honest opinion on something...do I look gay?" Some chicks will bust out laughing when you ask this. "...Because something really funny just happened, this dude was hitting
on me in another bar!" Better is to use this with a wing and change it to
"Does MY FRIEND look gay" because it eliminates the self-conscious aspect. The person who was supposedly hit on must play it off as something totally funny and even flattering.


GIRLS FIGHTING OUTSIDE
With great enthusiasm, "OMG! Did you see those two girls fighting outside? Like right outside the club... they were totally going at it; one was pulling the others' hair, and the other one drew blood with her nails. And they seemed to be fighting over this short guy; he was standing near them just totally laughing!


JEALOUS GIRLFRIEND
"Hey guys, I need a female perspective on something. This'll only take a minute. My roommate's girlfriend just found a shoebox he keeps hidden in a dresser drawer, and she's really upset about it.

It's nothing bad, just pictures of him and ex-girlfriends on vacation and old love letters he got in high school and stuff. But for some reason his girlfriend is freaking out about this and wants him to get rid of it or she's threatening to break up with him.

Is this normal female behaviour?"

So now she wants him to burn the box or she's leaving him, isn't that fucked up??

(girls get ridiculously into this opener and it helps if you tease them for it)


KHAKI OPENER
Hey, guys, my friends and I were making fun of some frat boys, and got into an argument...is khaki a color or a fabric?" The correct answer is that khaki is a color, and most girls know this. You can go into, "See, I was thinking it was a color, but the thing is that you never see a khaki car or wallpaper color or anything like that!" then fire into your next routine...


KINO OPENERS
Pushing girls, grabbing drinks out of their hands, lightly hip checking them, snapping bra straps, grabbing hats off heads, poke her, tap the opposite shoulder, etc.(these require no memorization are easy for newbie)