I'll tell you a tale of oneitis.

Back when I was 20 I was in what was slowly becoming a loveless marriage. Despite My best intention to make the most of the relationship, not in some way to do with the fact I was now a farther in said relationship. I felt the need to move forward. I quit my job as a shelf stacker at the local supermarket and sought something better.
It’s after getting a job in a back office of a bank that I met Simone.

I can’t say for sure when I fell in love with her but I know I quickly became friends with her and an aspiring musician Wayne.

The three of us were inseparable the fun and laughter I had with them was a sharp contrast to the tedium I went home to.
At this point let me point out I was terribly over weight (19 stone). I had fashion sense and to make matters worse my beard was something only a homeless guy would support.

As I got to know Simone more and more the more I fell in love with her, She was cute, funny, self righteous but venerable when it mattered. Most of when I was with her I could a new person I didn’t think I could be. I think back now wondering if it the new me I'd seek to grow into I'd love but them I'd remind myself she was smoking hot.

Of course as with tales such s this she was in a relationship. A long distance one at that. To know she wasn’t fullifleedd spurred me on more. Without knowing what a friend zone was I was truly there. All fun no sexuality. I didn’t know you can’t just jump from being a pal to being a sexual irelationship without the hint of sex.

My oneitis as you would call it was more of an obsession, she would play on my mind constantly, and any free thought would be devoted to her. I'd create these huge fantasies in my mind that would never play out. She would be my last thought at night and my first thought when I woke up. At the time as way of justifying things I simply said to myself "there is a switch in my head that is turned onto Simone and I have no power to change it"


As in all fantasize they come to an end, One Saturday morning while we were working weekends ( I was only there because she was there) Her boyfriend broke up with her. At the time I wanted to hug her so badly, I wanted to grab her in my arms and tell her everything would be ok. But at the time I was too much of pussy to do that.

Instead she left for home and I went on drinking binge scared because I might actually be in with a chance.

What happens next seems a blur in retrospect. I remember talking to her afterwards confessing a had something to say to her. It came to head when me and her were and friend from work were in Primark, I knew I couldn’t go on living a fantasy forever. For the months I kept her in my heart need to express them self. We went in Primark together and we left apart. I followed her. All down Market Street I followed her. When I found her as happy to see a friend as you could be, I told her I loved her. I told in as the most awkward way you could and was in love with her.

If this was Hollywood this is where it would end. But no, as I said the words the look of disgust on her face wills Haughton me. The feeling of betrayal was overwhelming.

I've made alot of bad choices in life to being drunk but this was my most sober and desperate.

As you can imagine it ruined the friendship we had and it ruined the friendship whit Wayne who I still adored.

After that I found out she ended up hooking up with said friend and I was an outcaste that should be avoided at all cost.

Anyway. I got new job found new friends discovered myself I wanted to be that felt right.

To this day I'm thankful for what I did because if I didn’t I wouldn’t be right now. And I like me right now.

This a few years ago anyway...