Hey guys,

Im gonna use this thread to post all my future FR's on. This way i can keep track of all my ramblings and it keeps the forum more tidy.

Anyways i went to town last night. Thursday nights in Bradford are always packed out so i was looking forward to getting out there. The only difference about tonight was that i was going alone. ALONE i hear some of you scream....well im kinda lying here, my sister was out with one of her friends, so i did know some people out, but the main thing is i wouldnt have MY friends out. I wanted to do this because i knew it would make me uncomfortable and i wanted to see how id get on being out on my own. After all;

'Safety and comfort are mortal dangers for the soul' - Sam Sheridan

The night started well enough i was feeling confident and really couldnt care less what happened on the night. I got to the club and met my sister and her friend. We talked for a little while, i vibed with her friend quite well. Id only met her once very briefly, so it was cool getting to know her a little better. I didnt want to just hang around my sister and her friend all night so i left them and went to the bar. I gotta say i spent a lot of time at the bar or outside smoking, being on my own i kinda felt out of place and didnt know where to put myself.

I opened some girls at the bar but it didnt really get past 2mins of conversation, i just wasnt hooking at all. There was one girl who gave me some amazing body language IOI's but i ejected waaay too early. Looking back WTF Marc??! I should have stayed in there. Ah well we live and learn.

I went outside for a smoke and spotted a girl who i know through a mutual friend. We dont know each other too well but enough to say 'Hi' and exchange some small talk. This girls cute BTW, so i said 'Hi' we talked loads and i #-closed her and am in the process of sorting out a day2. Then one of her friends came over and was rude as fuck. I cant remember what it was exactly what she said so im paraphrasing slightly here but it went kinda something like this;

Her- What u doing with him? (said in a really rude cockhead way)
Me-Are you being rude?
Her- (Pause) Yeh i am actually?
Me- What u being rude for im only talking to H******
Her- Cos i fucking can be
(At this point i just turned away, i could feel myself getting pissed off and didnt want to look a cock arguing with this girls friend over nothing)

I made my excuses and i left. I mean i had been kinda off all night but man my state felt fucked. I dont know what happened but my confidence slumped, i felt AA creeping up on me. Every group of people i saw i thought 'Oh i shouldnt go interupt them'. I remember standing there thinking to myself 'WTF this isnt me'.

I remembered something from Blueprint Decoded where TD says something about recognising being out of state and acknowledging it but taking positive action to push through it. I stuck around a little longer but i felt it counter productive to myself to stay too long so i left.

In the taxi i was full of excuses. The club was too busy. The music was too loud. I didnt have my friends out. I was too tired from training. Any excuse i could think of i used it. But you know what guys. EXCUSES ARE FOR PUSSYS!!

YouTube - Warhawk Matt Scott in Nike 'No Excuses' Commercial

When i woke up i felt much better about it. Fuck man i still approached some hot girls and got cool responses, ok maybe i didnt hook any of them but i still had some cool yet brief interactions. I got a fuckin #-close, ok we might kinda know each other but i still had the balls to get her number. And best of all i had enough balls to do something most people would never do, i fuckin went out on my own (pretty much). Even though to me last night was a disaster i still had a fuck-ton of a better night than i would have done a year ago before i knew about any of this.

Today im feeling philisophical about it. Iv read some Tolle and Osho and iv listened to some music and im feeling right back where i should be. I actually cant wait to get out there again tomorrow.

Seriously guys were all gonna have good and bad nights. I think what makes or breaks somone in this thing is how you handle the lows. Il leave you with a quote from the movie 'Elizabethtown' which kinda helped me out today.

"You Have Five Minutes to wallow in the Delicious Misery. Enjoy It. Embrace It. Discard It. and Proceed."

Peash out guys.