Its 1997 ,I'm in a faded second hand jumper with the sleeves to short and a Tesco 2stripe jacket when everyone else is sporting the latest spiffy bomber jackets, I've just sat at my table in tutor, i sit on my own as no one dares sit next to me incase the abuse normally aimed at me is shared with them.

Most off my class are sitting down as we wait for our tutor they are laughing in my direction a bit more than usual, i wonder what trap i have walked into this time i checked before i sat down for the drawing pin on the chair so it must be something else.

I look over to Dan he is the only friend i have, after school we have loads of fun dossing the streets on our bmx pretending we have machineguns on the handle bars and our mission is to take out the IRA who happens to be everyone walking the streets.

He doesn't dare talk to me in school and sits with the 'cool' kids, his eyes gaze sympathetically towards the chalk board so i look to see wrote in big letters 'MISS YATES IS A WHORE' with my street signature done very neatly underneath it, i wonder how they got a copy off my signature when the only copy off it that i know off is on my diary front page

Then i see Glyn B, one of the biggest most disgusting bully you ever laid eyes on ripping pages out of my diary, he even eats one of the pages glaring over daring me to come challenge him
i knew to get up and try challenge him or rub the chalk of the board before the tutor came in would be pointless and the silent anger starts to build mainly anger at myself for being such a pussy my face starts to go red and i can feel the tears coming

The class start chanting "cry baby Nazi cry baby Nazi" (i was born in Germany)

Then it all goes quiet.

Miss Yates walks in and the suspense builds up as she walks over to the board and examines, she reads recognizes the tag from my diary, then turns to me with eyes of disappointment and anger, i was gutted that she couldn't see it was a trap and after some bellowing and verbal abuse orders me to stand in the corridor and think about my actions, i welcome the chance to suffer in pain away from the mocking eyes and run from the classroom,

I sit outside, trying to calm myself down i fantasied about who i am going to be when i move to my new school in 5 months time, Dan T born in Blackpool yeah that sounds pretty cool if i start saving my pocket money now i can buy a spiffy jacket, then the bell rings and the class comes out 6 kicks to the shin, a slap round the face and gum in my hair, has it really been 3 years off this shit.

Writing this although the faces still remains vivid in my mind just seems like a bad dream to me,

To all the people who joined in with the bullying to ensure there own ass wont get kicked i remain eternally thankful too, after leaving that school i created a new identity infact i did everywhere i went and although being unauthentic at the time i buzzed of the fact no one knew who i was and as i had been called every twat under the sun i could no longer be affected by bullying, i even tried hanging around with people getting bullied to encourage bullys to pick on me but instead the bullied kids got recognized and respect for the attributes they had.

So if you went through school as an introvert getting your ass kicked then i congratulate you, no one in that club knows you and as long as your not sitting slouched at the bar not making eye contact feeling like a victom for fear of bullies then you are far more interesting and ready to become a verbal sparring Spartan than most of the people in there.