When was the last time you saw a HB but didn't have the courage to talk to her? Or made an excuse why you shouldn't? If you are like me probably last weekend, (BOO!)

AA affects all level of PUA from noobs to seasoned campaigner (unless your name is Darood or Jaz or Kowalski, that is). I have started reading more about AA recently and the article below from an email, is one of the best I have read. It has been edited to suit my own needs and to remove all the marketing links.

APPROACH ANXIETY IS NORMAL
It's the feeling our bodies give us when we take risks. It comes from the same part of the brain (the "amygdala") that activates when you go on the “Nemesis or Oblivion” in Alton Towers. In other words, it's a sign that we are doing something right, moving beyond our comfort zone, which can only be a good thing.

AA sure doesn't feel good when a HB9 is walking by. You get nervous, cold feet and you find million reasons not to talk to her. But, does it have to be like this? Remember when we were young, we probably LOOKED for risks: e.g. a higher tree to climb, a higher diving board to jump off of, etc…!

Let’s hit some of the logical "anchors." These are what we tell ourselves when we're having trouble approaching. Start INTERNALIZES these anchors so that we can act on them.

LOGICAL ANCHORS

1. It is part of our DNA – don’t fight it, embrace it.
Learning to 'overcome' AA is like 'overcoming' the need to eat or sleep. As men, we are meant to challenge ourselves. Living life within our comfort zone is unnatural and unhealthy - a lack of challenge or excitement in our lives can literally lead to being clinically depressed. How boring would life be if we always knew what was going to happen? To overcome approach anxiety, we need to EMBRACE it. Thrive on it.

2. Nobody can reject us based on a cold approach.
No woman can reject us from our approach. Think about it - she doesn't know you or me and has no idea what an AWESOME guy we are when we approach... so what if she blows out, she is not rejecting us. Welcome getting blown out as great FEEDBACK and learn from it... with practice, we will succeed.

3. Have no regrets...
Let's say we only see one attractive woman every day and we don't approach her. Over 10 years, that's 3,650 missed opportunities. How many hundreds of those have great personalities to match their looks? How many of those would click with you and me? Unfortunately, we will never know (dh!!)... because we missed them all...!!

4. We need to filter for women who meet our standards.
And even if we don't have high standards (why not, co I do?), we still need to act like we do. That's how the Qualification process works, and Qualification is CRUCIAL for picking up women.

If, say, 80% of hot women don't meet our personality standards, then we have to approach a lot of women to find the ones who are worth our valuable time and energy. Just like we'd look at a lot of jobs, houses, before choosing one, we should do the same with women... and that means approaching and getting to know them.

5. Women love to be approached but 95% of men have no approach game.
As we begin approaching loads of women, we will quickly realize that women love to be approached - it flatters and validates their sense of femininity. Women get approached all the time, but usually by CHODES who don't know what they are doing. This is why many women have a "shield or bitch-test" to deter most men from approaching.

6. What does this say about YOU & ME?
Women look at whether we can successfully approach them as a sign of what kind of man we are. Do we have Social Intelligence? Are we Confident? Are we Pre-Selected? Men who have all of those things will not hesitate to approach. So, if we don't approach, what do we think this says about us to her? I know this HB9 who has been going out with this less than average looking bloke for years and when I ask her what she sees in him, her answer: “he was the only bloke that was man enough to approach me in a club”. That’s says it all..!

ACTION

Now that we know why we should approach, the next step is to make ourselves do it.

1. The 3-second rule
This is an old classic. Approach a woman within 3 seconds of seeing her.
If we wait, approaching actually gets harder. Our brain comes up with reasons not to approach. We get more nervous. And, she'll notice our hesitation, which makes getting her interest ten times harder. But, if we approach right away, she'll see us as a confident man of action.

Use canned openers if you like or be natural like Kowalski. Do whatever, but start approaching..!

2. Get a wingman.
A good wingman will push us to do approaches, especially difficult ones. We can give each other feedback and we can reward each other for approaching. Post in the “Find a Wingman” section of the forum and find one. The guys in Manchester & Bristol go out regularly because of this forum.

3. Be consistent - find our window!
The more we practice and the more familiar the environment, the less anxiety we will feel. Whether it's a specific club where we feel comfortable, or a specific situation, it doesn't matter.

4. Get in state.
This one is really easy. Human beings are extremely state-driven. Listen to high-energy music, visualisation, meditation. Whatever works for us. See ourselves as the life of the party, smiling faces, laughter, women being all over us (woop, woop), etc.

5. Short-setting.
This is a low-risk warm-up technique. We move around the club/bar talking to everyone for 30-60 seconds. We have no agenda beyond meeting everyone and saying hello. This not only gets us in a social mood, but also delivers a ton of social proof later in the night when we know everyone. Often women will re-approach us once we've met them.

6. Keep a success journal.
We often forget how many great approaches we have done - especially if we have more blow outs than successful approaches, which is perfectly normal as we start out. We will surprise ourselves if we think hard enough, when we realise how many great approaches we have actually done.

So what are we waiting for….Approach, Approach, Approach..!