So we come to Sophie again. Some interesting turns in the story.

Last week I went out with my flatmates and some of our friends for a standard uni bar crawl that would end up in Syndicate. I suggested Sophie come along, and she enthusiastically agreed. It sounded promising - I'd be bringing her into my world, introducing her to my friends and we'd both have a right laugh. It was perhaps a little unfortunate that in the approaching 24 hours or so, my mood started to dive and I knew I'd have a fight on my hand to be at my best for the pub crawl. For anyone who's not aware, I have cyclothymia (like bipolar disorder but not quite as strong - wiki it), and my mood is in a constant state of flux. Most of the time it fluctuates around the fairly normal but occasionally it takes a big swing one way or the other. That night, it was most certainly down.

Let's concentrate on the positives to start off with. We had good conversation for the majority of the night, we both enjoyed ourselves and made each other laugh and she got on like a house on fire with my friends. We also agreed to see each other for Lab tomorrow.

Now the negatives. I was in my head all night, and she could tell. Everything I did felt unnatural and...I dunno...out of synch with my true self. My kino was off, any conversation, whilst flowing and generally good, didn't feel quite right - the vibe wasn't there. To be honest, this was not helped by the fact that my mood was very low (it still is, 5 full days later) and thus I was wracked with self-doubt, low self-esteem, low energy and feeling generally miserable. Another factor was that Sophie was a little unresponsive to everything going on around her, and as such I was concerned she was not enjoying herself. A bit of a choad habit, I know, but I was too concerned that she was not enjoying herself to truly enjoy myself. In the end, I just decided to chill out and not worry about it, and we ended up separating within the group and doing our own thing.

The night culminated in Syndicate, which was shite, and me drinking pints of Fosters, because it was cheap. The inevitable lethargy came on very quickly, everyone got separated and Sophie ended up taxiing it back to hers about 10 minutes before we taxied it back home. I haven't texted her since, and I don't think I'm going to. Just move on and find myself another little hottie I think.