Have been struggling to pick myself up after I blew it with the girl I was seeing last week. Its like I’m stuck in an emotional well and its been a lot of effort to pull myself out, but I think the effort is making me stronger as a person. It’s not so much about her now, its about me, I’m disappointed with myself for the way I behaved and it was getting me down.

Sooooooooo...... I went into town today to buy some t shirts and do a bit of day gaming to see if it would help. Was good to be out and vibing with people and I was feeling better after making convo with a few people just being social.. Walking past Starbucks in St Anns square, I fancied a coffee and a sit down, but then saw the prices and thought – naaah.

So I decided to sit down outside on one of the benches in the square and chill. It was a lovely day - cold but the air was crisp and I was sat near the fountain and the sound of the water was soothing. Would have been nice to have a friend their too to share the moment, but I looked around and saw at least 10 other people enjoying it too, which made me smile.

I enjoy people watching and I started thinking about this girl and the girls I’ve been seeing this last year, partly to validate my ego but also just reflecting on them as people in their own right. Then it hits me.

The efforts I’ve been putting in recently to interact with women, open sets, number close, k close etc go on dates etc.. all that time, and I wasn’t paying attention to the person in front of me. I was proving something to myself and it didn’t matter if I didn’t really like/respect the person or not. I am glad to now understand this.

People are different, some of the girls I was seeing I got on great with, others it was just physical. I am me, there are some changes I’ve made over the course of my life but that person is still there and there are parts of me that I will never be able to change and would not want to.

I now resolve to be myself more. I’m still going to go out and open sets, etc. But I will only vibe with people that I like and connect with. Sounds so simple, took me long to learn this.

Therefore, I proudly announce, the Dolphin is no more. Long live David.

P.s - Can someone show me how to change my user name??