I'm not coming, i've decided that you are all gay and i've come to the conclusion that your coy tactics to get me to come down to Bristol have been nothing but blatant attempts to try and groom me into your filthy homosexual endeavors culminating in you all gang-raping me. I shall have no part in it!!!

Just kidding lads. I'm in Gloucester this weekend with some other mates, I'll try get down next weekend, the following weekend I'm in Manchester whoop! whoop!