They do indeed suck and they're also cool as fuck.

If I didn't already know you weren't a fan of Vampires, that would have been an "I see what you did there" moment but I do know you're not a fan.

Let me tell you why Vampires are cooler than Zombies (which I know you prefer).

• Vampires have sex appeal. There is nothing sexy about a Zombie.
  
• Vampires are presentable and fashionable. Zombies are physically repulsive.
  
• Vampires are highly intelligent. Zombies are literally brain-dead.
  
• Vampires are incredibly fast. Zombies can trail their feet at best.
  
• Vampires can speak and have conversations. Zombies can say bleughhhhaaa.
  
• Vampires' feeding habits aren't as gross as Zombies eating guts and intestines.
  
• Vampires have standards and are selective about their prey. Zombies will go for anyone.
  
• Vampires are clever and know how to evade enemies. Zombies will walk towards trouble.
  
• Vampires are not nearly as easy to kill as a Zombie.

That doesn't mean I don't like Zombies, but they've got nothing on a Vampire.