Today, I took 1.5g of Penis Envy mushrooms (one of the most potent strains alongside Albino Penis Envy), using the lemon tek method. All I can say is wow.

The plan was to take the dose and then go for an outside trip. I wanted to spend some time over at Belfast's Titanic quarter.

The plan didn't go according to plan.

I left my building 10 minutes after drinking the dose and set off toward the city center. I was already starting to feel sensations on the Dublin Road, just 5 minutes later. By the time I got halfway down the road, it was coming on hard. I sat down outside a bar to decide what I should do, I knew I should go home but I thought "let's fight through it"

By the time I made it to the end of the road, just past Wetherspoons (about one minute from my last stop), I came to the realization that being in public was not a good place for me to be. I turned right but I really didn't know whether I was coming or going. I was a bit disoriented, just trying to hold it together. There are loads of people around me. Should I sit down and just pretend I'm a guy chilling? Let's try that. Took out my phone to make it look like I'm doing something. My coordination is all over the place and I can't see the screen. Fuck it, let's move. I know people were looking at me like WTF is happening with this guy.

I look towards the city center. What am I doing? Where am I going? I decided to go home, and this was a trip in itself.

I didn't want to go back the way I came, I wanted to go the way with the least amount of activity. Difficult in a city, but I made my choice to head in the direction of Donegall Pass, which would leave me close to my street. By the time I got to this road, the world around me was really warping. I felt like everyone driving past was looking at me and knew I was tripping. Walking down Donegall Pass was longer than it would have been under normal circumstances. In these circumstances, it felt like it would never end. Just a few more corners to go.

Walking up my street trying to act normal, when everything looked fake, was a mission. I walk past the doorman of Laverys. He knows my face well and has seen me many times. I say hello as I'm passing and he says something similar back, but I can't hear him. Sounds are all over the place. I'm confident he knows I was on something. By the time I got to my building, I was in a completely different world. The best way to describe it is that it was dreamlike. As if I was trying to make my way home in a dream. Everything's there that should be there, but it's abnormal, and somewhat muffled (like in a dream). And also, it feels like all eyes are on you, as it would be in a dream. That's very important to note here.

It's hilarious, now, thinking about how getting back to my home was the only thing that mattered in the world, but when I got through my door the fucking relief was immense.

It's tricky making your way around and trying to look normal when buildings are breathing and roads look like a Scalextric, but I managed to safely make it across all roads leading to my building. When I got into the building and walked up the stairs. You know the part in Willy Wonka where they walk up the corridor and either everything gets smaller, or they get bigger? That's how I describe it. Even after one flight of stairs, I didn't know if it was the first flight or if I had walked all the way to the top floor. My perception of time and space seemed to be jumping around at this point and I just had to hope I could make it to my destination. When I believed I was on my floor I went down the hallway towards my door whilst reaching into my pocket for my keys. Where were they? There were coins in my pocket too and it felt like my keys had got lost in this pile of change. I kept feeling around. I'm so close. My door is right in front of me. One last hurdle. Found the keys and managed to get in. Touchdown.

Getting home was such a relief. I laughed out loud at how traumatic yet tragically amusing what I'd just been through had been, and now I could let go and enjoy myself. As for the Willy Wonka room distortion I alluded to from the hallway, that's how everything around me was for the next two hours. It was hilarious walking around my apartment and feeling like I was literally too big for the room. Then I couldn't decide if I was too big for the room or if I was tiny and everything else was too big for me. Size distortion. Like, the desk looks tiny but the computer monitor is the size of a car. I'm walking down the hallway and the floor is right up under my nose and the walls are closing in on me. One part of the sofa was overgrown yet the other one was tiny. I'm sitting on my bed and feel like I've been shrunken to about a foot tall. I lift my phone and it is absolutely enormous. Shit like that. It was really, really funny floating around in this familiar but comically distorted world. Again, all very dreamlike.

I had trippy psychedelic music on and earphones in. On my first macro I did the typical curl up in the fetal position. But this time I enjoyed being on my feet. My balance was all over the place and I was bouncing off the walls but everything was good. I was giggling at how fucked I was and allowing myself to sail. For the most part, I was aware of where I was and loved it, but at the peak felt like I was also in a totally different place at the same time. I lose concept of reality. It was so heavy and wavy that I feel like at times I was experiencing both conscious reality and unconsciousness at the same time. Like I know I'm in my bedroom but if want to I can let myself disappear to another place. I dunno if I'm explaining it right but let's just say I was on another planet. There were most definitely gargoyles or jokers in my vision for part of it. On a powerful mushroom trip, you can see layers of reality, and one of those layers for a while was jokers or gargoyles scrolling down my screen.

It's really hard to describe some of it, but another key thing was everything you look at having visual trails, like it's going in slow motion, which is really cool. This is how you know you're in balls deep. I was really far gone and had the biggest smile on my face during it.

All in all, the main event was between 3 and 4 hours. I'm certain that using the lemon tek method is why it hit me so hard. I guess I may try the same quantity using a less intense method next time. Perhaps in tea. So I can compare.

I really enjoyed this trip. Even if it did start off a bit hectic.

Kowalski. When was the last time you tripped?