I took my first macrodose last night.

It was intense. I ate 12 squares of my chocolate bar which added up to 1.75 grams of psilocybin and I took 250mg in capsule form, to make my dose up to 2 grams.

After about 45 minutes I started to feel the effects. It came on hard and fast. So much so, that it was actually overwhelming. I had sat down to watch the boxing main card from 7 pm but I had started tripping by then and Tommy Fury was the first fight. It looked weird on screen and this shit was hitting me so hard I just brought myself to my room and got comfortable on the bed.

Having been a heavy substance user and abuser in a past life, I knew that wheels were now in motion that could not be stopped. So, I had to quickly accept this and try to ease into wherever this was about to go.

The come-up was incredibly intense. I know now that I underestimated it and probably jumped into the deep end without giving too much thought to my setting and what I was going to do during it. My plan had been to chill and watch the boxing event, but that idea was soon overtaken by the intensity of my oncoming trip, and, not having been prepared for this, I surrendered myself to the experience and lay down.

I live in the city center, so, to block out the unappealing city sounds outside, I put on some psychedelic trippy music and let myself sail. I soon understood the kaleidoscopic visuals I've heard experts and experienced psychonauts talk about. I also understand how this kind of experience is difficult to put into words, but I can try.

With my mind racing during this intense come-up and just trying to keep my hands on the wheel, the visuals in my head were fast and euphoric. I believe I got at least a snippet into what it's like to experience a DMT-style journey. At my peak, when I was lying on my bed with my eyes closed and the trippy mind-bending music playing, the waves of spacey sounds determined the kaleidoscopic visuals I was seeing. For example, when the music got to a lull the visuals would slow down like they were awaiting instruction on what to do next, then when a powerful sequence came along the visuals would pick up and I would see euphoric-type scenes like fireworks and explosive colorful stuff. I wish my words could do it justice.

I have experienced hallucinogenic trips before in my life through the concoctions of Ecstacy and other class A drugs I abused, but I can distinguish the difference between those experiences and this one, and I can really see why they are called a "trip". It's enlightening.

When I compare the intensity of last night to something of a similar intensity if you were taking Ecstacy, I would feel horrible, and in paranoid horrors today. But with this, there's absolutely zero psychosis or comedown. If anything I feel great today and I'm going to sit in the park for a bit before the F1 race starts.

I think the timing is right, too. Over a decade after quitting the harmful drugs and my harmful ways of consuming them, it's time to experience true and magical states of consciousness as opposed to getting into a wasted mess every weekend.

...........

It's kind of a shame there's so little engagement in this forum anymore because it feels like this post is going to waste on here but hey I've been writing in this diary for 7 years, so I'll add it anyway.