Hi guys, been a loooong time since I frequented these boards and I'm in need of some expert opinions for a complicated and advanced situation.

I'm 49 and so is she. My ex from the 90's and I reconnected online and everything took off like the GME stock, faster than I ever expected but bottomed out after 2 weeks.

We both have a very strong, common bond and it was easy for the two of us to feel nostalgia for one another. The subject turned to sex and personal things about ourselves and what we want. We both wanted a "do-over" and I went from a casual "hey what's up" to "I'm going to marry you" to which she responded" Know what, I actually would"

Quick back story. She's 2000 miles away finishing up some new schooling in June. She's relocating somewhere and was thinking of going east. Single, and prepared to start a new life elsewhere. Me, I'm on the opposite side west and told her she can come out here and I would let her launch her new life from my place, get her own place once she's on her feet. After a few days she agreed that makes perfect sense. No red flags and was about 99% all in.

Two weeks went by and we were both obsessed with thoughts of one another. Her responses were quick and she confessed she can't stop thinking of me. I was flying but knew from experience these things can crash, hard.
Then I fucked up.

Because of Covid, flights are cheap and I thought it would be good to nail down a ticket now. Also, I told her I would buy it and sent her a screen shot of a ticket for $67. This is when things started going sideways. She told me she wants to buy it but had to wait 10 days. I responded by saying I understand her need to want to buy it so that she doesn't feel I'm controlling the situation. That' when I got it. "This needs to slow waaaaaay down" she tells me. She has to focus on school (this is her practicum part) and that "reality" set in. Too many unknowns. Said, friends first.

Remember that Simpsons scene when Lisa tells Ralph to fuck off? Ya, that was me. I know I messed up because I was still flying high and she grounded before me. Trying to correct the situation I switched from text to email to let her know I will bow out until June and contact her then to see where's she's at. Told her I need to "fall out of love" before I can be "friends" to which she replied ok, if that's what makes me feel more comfortable.

Then, like a malfunctioning robot, I thought damn. All the way till June? There will be no momentum at all and suddenly contacting her then would be awkward as hell. What am I going to say? "Hey have you made your mind up" Hell no. So I just emailed her and told her waiting till then is unnecessary. She "lol'd" back. and we emailed that night. Nothing personal, just talked about covid, masks, bullshit etc. I did sense she was being a little argumentative with me so I changed the subject about her schooling which worked.

So here's the thing. I ended that last email by telling her I'm off to bed. Chat later, goodnight (instead of her) but she never replied back to that. Perhaps it's nothing but I wanted to keep things light. I'm not afraid of her ghosting me because she said she would never do that. I know so bc she's the type to be straight up about stuff. However, we had a roaring fire which has cooled to an ember and I know not to talk about us or "plans" again.

So, the question. How do I get that fire going again? We both said we would like to know the person we've become and I think she's totally open to a visit but this is a dangerous situation. If I come off clingy, it's over. If I don't engage, it's over. If I don't make her think of me in a sexual way, it's over.

My strategy is to try and have small talk about worldly events we agree with and watch for cues. I don't want to distract her from schooling yet need to maintain her interest. I'm sure she's thinking about this situation as much as me but she's a master at concealing her emotions. She does the mystery game and it drives me nuts lol. (works both ways) IE: I'm not sure the strategy of holding out so she contacts me first will work. If I send her emails every 4'th or 5th day I don't want that to look desperate. I know she's aware I'm courting her but how many times should I email first before I just stop? Once she sends me an email on her own I know I've climbed an obstacle.

So this isn't your typical "she's gone cold" situation with someone you just met. We have a history. Any veteran advice from someone in their 40's or a younger expert would be greatly appreciated.

ETA: I never used PUA psychology on her before. I read the game when it came out and used techniques which worked. She has never known me to be a PUA and anything I try would be completely new to her. She knows me from then, not now. I'm curious to how she will respond. Ya, she's as cold as ice when she wants to be but she's still human.

Thanks in advance.

P.S never post these questions on reddit or relationship forums, the people there aren't right in the head. I'm a crazy, psycho control freak lol.