Sounds like it's in the ballpark of analysis paralysis.
You have this idea (shit) in your head thinking you need to sound just like what you've been reading about and say it correctly, and because of this, you stifle.
My advice is stop trying so hard.
Quote:
Originally Posted by prometheus
but then when you're actually standing in front of a person, it just goes out of your mind and you fall back to the same old default behaviour
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It's similar to preparing for an interview. You can spend as long as you like reading and making preparations, but when the moment arrives, you forget everything.