Ok. That helps. Still you haven't given a reason why they think it is awkward. Being in Scotland is irrelevant. Maybe they didn't give you a reason. Then again if you were too shy to chat or even text the girl you banged, then it is awkward because you are making it awkward. Maybe they were all responding to that.

If you know when girls are into you and don't do anything about it, there's little anyone can do to help. You know what you need to do. With these girls you don't even have to carry the chat or have a personality, they'll fill in the gaps for you. Whatever you do they'll find a way to interpret that into something that attracted them because they are already attracted.

I don't think that hanging out with girls who you know and become comfortable with is going to help very much if at all when it comes to chatting unknown girls you fancy. Is a completely different thing. You already have it with guys but I bet you'd feel almost as much anxiety going up to a random guy and making friends with him over nothing. Or even just saying 'hello' to the next person who passes you in the street.

Working on anxiety is an activity that you can do in place of taking action. However long you work on anxiety and whichever way you work on anxiety eventually you will come to the moment when you take action. At that moment you'll realise that all the years working on anxiety was more or less pointless and that you could have taken action at any time.

To begin with stop saying 'i can't' about things that you clearly can do but in whatever way you choose not to or won't do. You can, for example, ’talk to girls in [your] uni class'. You can talk. You have access to the class. There are girls there. They can hear sounds and communicate in English. Etc. Etc.

It's a while since I was in uni. In the first weeks there was a girl in logic class that I liked, Becky, and I figured she liked me. I was nervous about chatting her. So I preplanned it that after class I would say hello to her in the hall and ask if she'd like to go out sometime. I did this and she said she had a boyfriend and that she was flattered.

If you wanna be mates with your class people, at the start of class on a Friday just say ”hey everyone, after class some of us are going to the union for Friday drinks. Everyone is invited" then at the end of class make a specific move to chat to the people you'd especially like to come and re-invite them. If you want, make little fliers and hand them out to each person individually, ask their names if you don't already know, encourage them to come, refute their excuses etc.

I did exactly this, except in an office environment, when I returned to Manchester and didn't know anyone. It's fascinating how socially fluid you become with a flier in your hand.

Here's the advice you need which could save you years of your life - Feel the fear and do it anyway.


Peace,

kowalski