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Originally Posted by Stein
I'm saying it's as simple as this. If I was this girl and you texted me the stuff above, I would have no idea where you were going with it or what you actually wanted. At no point do you straight up say 'let's meet up again next time I'm in town'. You might think that's implicitly obvious but it's not. She isn't a mind reader bro. It'd be one thing if it was fun spontaneous conversation but it just reads like you're trying to force it, like trying to perpetuate it, and the worst part is it's not even clear why.
Bear in mind she's got shit going on, and is probably getting texted by friends, guys, work etc. You might get the occasional girl who'll follow you down the garden path on the offchance, but if a girl was texting me this kind of purposeless small talk I might not engage with it either.
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I see what you're getting at now. Thanks for the explanation. I guess I'm just an old fashioned patient person who likes to take their time and build up a rapport before jumping to the point. But if that's what girls are expecting then I guess I have to change. I did say when I took her number that it was so we could meet up next time I'm in town, but maybe she didn't remember that.
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Originally Posted by Stein
there's a billion reason why shit might not work out. Whatever. As long as enough stuff does it's no big deal.
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That's the problem, not enough stuff does work out with the girls who I am actually interested in. Stuff like the above happens... a lot. And then I'm left wondering - was it the last thing I said? Was it something between the lines that happened over time? Was it something when we first met? Are these girls just out of my league? Am I out of their league? I just don't have a clue, and it's hard to learn when it's just a random "fail" with no other feedback.
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Originally Posted by Stein
Key things you should bear in mind is to cut out all the fluff and say what you actually mean. I guarantee that forcing long conversations and avoiding saying what you actually want isn't helping you. When you're texting ask yourself 3 questions:
What do I actually want to do here
Does she know that
Am I saying this because I want to or because I'm 'trying to make it work?'
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Thanks for the advice. I'll give this a try. One question for you tho. Say it was a girl from nearby, you just met her, got her number, you hadn't slept with her, and you wanted to set up a date for later in the week. Would you jump straight to saying that you want to meet her, in the first couple of texts? Or would you build up some rapport with small talk first? Just trying to put some context on what you're saying...