Quote:
Originally Posted by thinkingman
You're right, I've been taking pretty much the same approach to following up on girls no matter what the scenario without thinking how it comes across to her.
But there have been girls in the past where, for example, I have met them in a neighbouring city, similar to this case, and I followed up with my standard approach, and it worked. There have been girls from nearby where I did the same thing with the small talk, and they also stopped replying.
How do you know what to do for each girl? What if she's expecting you to follow up with small talk and you don't and she gets fed up and forgets about you?
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You're missing the point. I'm not saying you have to change you're approach to fit the sensibilities of every girl you chat to. Don't do that.
I'm saying it's as simple as this. If I was this girl and you texted me the stuff above, I would have no idea where you were going with it or what you actually wanted. At no point do you straight up say 'let's meet up again next time I'm in town'. You might think that's implicitly obvious but it's not. She isn't a mind reader bro. It'd be one thing if it was fun spontaneous conversation but it just reads like you're trying to force it, like trying to perpetuate it, and the worst part is it's not even clear why.
Bear in mind she's got shit going on, and is probably getting texted by friends, guys, work etc. You might get the occasional girl who'll follow you down the garden path on the offchance, but if a girl was texting me this kind of purposeless small talk I might not engage with it either.
Quote:
Originally Posted by thinkingman
I find it extremely difficult to know what to do, and I get it wrong a lot. Girls are so unpredictable, you don't know what the right approach for each girl is. And before you know it, you're blowing thru lots and lots of girls failing with most of them, and not having a clue what's going on, not having a clue where you're going wrong, and ultimately not really learning anything... just fail, fail, fail, fail, succeed, fail, fail... seemingly randomly. How do you start to make sense of it all?
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It'll always be unpredictable.Everyone's got shit going on, some people just dont click..there's a billion reason why shit might not work out. Whatever. As long as enough stuff does it's no big deal.
Key things you should bear in mind is to cut out all the fluff and say what you actually mean. I guarantee that forcing long conversations and avoiding saying what you actually want isn't helping you. When you're texting ask yourself 3 questions:
- What do I actually want to do here
- Does she know that
- Am I saying this because I want to or because I'm 'trying to make it work?'
Get used to thinking like that and you'll find it'll take a lot of the mystery out of the whole thing