Thanks for the info - this is useful!
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Originally Posted by Stein
Also, quit trying to be cute. By which I mean:
It's too much man. It's not quirky or entertaining, I comes across as trying to be quirky and entertaining. Again, if you genuinely felt like you were enough and that you were good with it regardless of how it goes you wouldn't be doing that. Shit like this backfires because it connotes the converse; I feel the need to try and be entertaining to be able to talk to you. She might not have explicitly seen it as that, but her brain did.
Again it's compounded by the fact that it's not even clear what you're driving at or why you're texting her. The irony is for all the effort you're putting in to try and be interesting, a simple 'Hey, how you doing?' 'I'm gonna be back in town this weekend, what you up to Saturday night?' would probably work way better.
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That's my personality. But yeah I probably didn't come across that way when I spent time with her because I was tired and slightly hung over, so when I was texting as my normal self again (with a bit of overcompensation thrown in) and it probably seemed weird to her.
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Originally Posted by Stein
What are you actually trying to do here? In like a practical sense, where are you going with these texts? I mean this is some girl you pulled from a bar, and she lives 100 miles away from you. There's a fair few practical limits on that scenario.
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Where are you going with that small talk at the end? It's not like you're going to see this chick all the time, and jumping into small talk like that just feels needy. If you'd just gone 'this was cool, catch you next time I'm in town?' and left it at that you could hit her up next time you're around.
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You're right, I've been taking pretty much the same approach to following up on girls no matter what the scenario without thinking how it comes across to her.
But there have been girls in the past where, for example, I have met them in a neighbouring city, similar to this case, and I followed up with my standard approach, and it worked. There have been girls from nearby where I did the same thing with the small talk, and they also stopped replying.
How do you know what to do for each girl? What if she's expecting you to follow up with small talk and you don't and she gets fed up and forgets about you?
I find it extremely difficult to know what to do, and I get it wrong a lot. Girls are so unpredictable, you don't know what the right approach for each girl is. And before you know it, you're blowing thru lots and lots of girls failing with most of them, and not having a clue what's going on, not having a clue where you're going wrong, and ultimately not really learning anything... just fail, fail, fail, fail, succeed, fail, fail... seemingly randomly. How do you start to make sense of it all?