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Hello folks

Since I see that posts about negs incur a significant hoopla, I want to ask for a clarification on this.

Teasing is an essential part for building attraction. However, I can't clearly mark the difference with negs. To me, negs are a deliberate, direct way to bring the girl into a self-conscious status, whereas teasing is a process of being funny and stimulate constant qualification from her. Which is pretty close :)

So, I'd like to get what differences you see between them, and as usual, I'd like to see this through concrete examples as opposed to opinion columns. If each answer goes with 5 "teaser" and 5 neg sentences, this thread is gonna be a globally valuable reference :)

haz

Quote:

Originally Posted by kowalski (Post 31747)

You are obsessed with examples. An example will give you one thing to say.
A principle is more useful. A principle will give you an infinity of things to say.

Just to clear this, I'm not obsessed at all, I'm remarking :)
PUA is a great community, but since there are so many different methods, everyone advocates his own "philosophy". Great, and natural to see the big picture when you're proficient. But philosophy or general principles hardly get you started if you're beginner. To get the theory of relativity you need to start with bare formulae. This is why I'm trying to elicit doable stuff out of the philosophy. That's what I think, take it or leave it :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by kowalski (Post 31747)

A neg is designed to purposely lower the other person's sense of their own value, so that they chase validation from you to restore their sense of their own value.

An example of a neg - "I like your hair colour. Is it natural?" "No." "Never mind, I suppose it is nice anyway."
An example of a non-neg - "I like your hair colour. Is it natural?" "No." "Never mind, I suppose it is nice anyway."

I could give more examples, but don't think they'll add anything.

The difference is not in the structure of the words but the intention of the speaker. Does the speaker intend with his words to lower the other person's sense of their own value, so that they chase validation from the speaker to restore their sense of their own value? If yes, it is a neg. If no, it is not a neg.

Teasing can be intended to be playful or hurtful. Negging is always intended to be hurtful.

Agreeable. There's not much different from what Mystery means after all; he does want to get some self-consciousness, but insists on keeping them fun, polite and never cross the line.

I was slightly unsure of this myself. In MM he uses certain examples of negs that are 'backhanded compliments', the use of which was to generate attraction by showing her that you have the power to say 'you ain't all that bitch'. Other negs were ones like 'you can dress her up but you can't take her anywhere', which are funny (nae scripted) comments. This to me would be a bit more teasing-like. I can have fun naturally teasing girls, but I can also push it to the point when I can see it's slightly hurting them, and not quite as fun. Maybe it's effective, maybe not, but it actually hurts me to keep doing it if I'm bullying them into submission, although admittedly in occassion I don't know when to stop, particularly if you can't stop thinking of sharp comebacks!

Generally, girls can have a 'bitch shield' sometimes, but if you have a strong, fun and unshakeable mentality, they will soon be forced to crack a smile. This is the principle behind negs and teasing.

This might help - I wrote it a while ago so there's a few things I disagree with on it but it gives you a good general idea

http://www.puaforum.co.uk/pua-genera...-bad-negs.html

That's a great post, Blanca: clear, contentful, and applicable. Thanks!