It's my birthday & I'm determined to have a good time though by now it's nearly 1 p.m. & if I leave it much later there won't be a club for me to go to. It takes me over 25 mins to walk back into town. As I'm walking, I'm considering the club options. I know there are two decent clubs that I like, though they are both going to be closed in one hour, so they're out. Where is going to be open until around 6 a.m. which is not too far away? I remember seeing a flyer for a new club night at a club called Barcelonas which appears to tick all the boxes, so I head there.

I get there fast, discover it's about twice as expensive than the other clubs, though I'm running out of time & I want to PARTY!!! I pay to get in, rush to the cloak room, hand in my jacket & make for the dance floor where I can hear the music thumping. It's been hard work, but at last I've found a decent looking club with decent music. I move through the crowd towards the d.j.s & then begin to look around me.

There's lots of guys with shaven heads with their tops off, dancing in a sweaty mass. I look around a bit more to see where the talent is tonight & then realise there isn't any talent as I've just paid top dollar to walk into a GAY CLUB! Jesus! This is my birthday! I'd been to Barcelonas several times before though this is the first time I've seen it used for a gay night. I can't believe this is happening to me! I'm figuring on leaving when I see a couple of girls I know called Delia & Sarah on the dance floor, so I go over & introduce myself.

They're cool & introduce me to a few guys they've come to the club with. At this time in the morning I don't really have that many options left so I decide to stay & catch up with the girls. After a while we all sit down together. One of the guys in the group is called Scott who is there with his boyfriend. Scott is very camp, grossly overweight & he is wearing a kilt. He leans over to me & says that he recognises me from a party I went to at Delias flat two years ago.

I don't remember him though I say hi anyway. He tells me that since that night he has always wanted to meet me again, because he has a crush on me! What? I'm straight as a die & this is my birthday & I've gone from planning to meet up with a group of sexy women in a fetish club to being chatted up by a fat gay in a kilt! A little bit of a let down.