Originally Posted by Fennec
When I'm out in a club or bar and I'm by myself for a while I find it hard to stay relaxed. This often happens after a conversation finishes and I don't have the safety net of a mate to return to or see anyone else I can start talking to.
I start to get very conscious of being alone, get into my head and if I stay like this for long become hesitant in approaching. As a knock on effect, when I manage to approach again I find myself coming off as a bit desperate or needy as I'm too keen to start talking or stay in a conversation.
The social pressure of being by myself can get a bit overbearing and a few times I've had to leave the venue to release the pressure.
In situations when I know I have a mate to return to or nearby, I feel a lot more relaxed.
Does anyone have any tips on how to get over this? I am fairly sure it is a mindset thing but I'm struggling with it at the moment.
I've had the same struggle at times and have felt nervous and not very relaxed. The only thing I can say helps is more exposure. So the old face your fear, expose yourself to it thing.
For example you could maybe make yourself go to a bar or something by yourself for just one drink. And do it regularly enough such that you feel comfortable by yourself. Once you're comfortable with yourself you can move to the stage of being more sociable and approaching women.