Projecting thoughts
 

No this isn't some mystic thing or nlp stuff, I haven't been on in a while and I thought i'd waffle abit about projecting thoughts into peoples heads. ie thinking you know what someone is thinking.

This is a pretty dangerous thing to do and sometimes it may actually seem like you are right. However because you are thinking a certain thing like "she finds me boring" then you will start to look for more reasons and clam up and act upon those thoughts. Then when she loses interest you say to yourself that she did find you boring.

Up to that point she could have been really into you but because you got in your head and started looking and acting on thoughts that have no real basis just hunches.

This also aplies to presuming thoughts before you've even approached them, like "i'm not her type" or "she'll think i'm weird". If you go up thinking these thoughts you're going to act on them in a negative way.

Any thoughts/comments welcome! I'm not a fucking mind reader!

Good post Tom, and nice to see you back here.

It's the same principle when a guy is on a date and he attempts to work out 'if she likes me'. He will try to watch and listen out for IOIs cues and assume certain things. Unfortunately he will get so caught up in the inconsistencies and focus on the negative or lack of IOIs he will become unsure of himself and fail to escalate things.

Assuming you know what a girl is thinking or intending is poisonous to any man's game. The only assumption I believe in (and you've said this yourself before Tom) is 'assume that it's on'.

its kind of like 'limiting beleifs' really?! is that what u mean?!

@ Picard - Pretty much yeah. With this assuming you know what the girl is thinking, you can end up creating your very own limiting beliefs, even if they are just in that moment. You can end up thinking too much and talk yourself out of a potentially positive situation. Even thought the girl is more than likely thinking great things about you!

Like Kowalski said on a thread recently, it is best to 'feel you way around'... as opposed to trying to predict and look out for indicators.

indeed, i beleive this to be one of the thigns which has held me back in the past, putting too much undue pressure on myself, and that beginning to show on the outside, much to my dissappointment... lol

Pic.

So thats pretty much where i went wrong the other night with that chick when i was trying to hard to pick up her body language and looking for ioi's that she could tell i was up to something, damn im stupid sometimes lol.

no1s perfect mate...

...apart from Cheryl Cole

Easily done mate JJ! Don't beat yourself up about it. You are not stupid, you have just been advised by PUA material to look out for things like body language and IOIs as a shortcut to success.

a true fact tbf!

Pic.

any Sartre work on this forum i could have a read up on?

thanks in advance

Picard.