Being persistent... The art of ploughing
 

There are many valuable characteristics that a man can have that will help him establish sexual relationships; confidence, charm, charisma, etc. However, the one that will help him to establish sexual relationships again and again, more so than any other characteristic, is persistence.

A strong, confident alpha male goes for what he wants and if he doesn’t get it straight away he doesn’t just give up at the first sign of difficulty. Instead, he keeps going, he ploughs through the difficulties until he gets what he wants. He doesn’t think about anything except the end goal. And with that in mind, obstacles cannot stop him; stumbling blocks are converted into stepping stones en-route to his destination.

This is something a lot of guys struggle with when it comes to meeting and attracting women. It’s not that the girl rejects them, but rather that they reject themselves. At the very first sign of any disinterest they give up, thinking that all is lost. Guys make two common mistakes that prevent them from being persistent.

First, they think that every time a man chats up a woman it’s going to be as smooth as a scene in a James Bond film. Consequently, when an interaction gets a little bit difficult most guys give up. The truth of the matter is that most interactions are a little bit messy, even the biggest ladies men around don’t have the perfect response for every social situation, nor do they need to. The interaction doesn’t have to be perfect in any way for you to succeed, if it’s good enough it’s good enough.

The second mistake is that guys often don’t realise when girls are just trying to test them. Often, a girl will throw out a playful tease just to test and see how a guy reacts to it. This is particularly common in the bar/club environment. For instance, a girl might throw out a comment like, “you know, that t-shirt looks a little feminine on you”, at which point a lot of guys will feel a bit rejected and not pursue the interaction as hard, or worse, they will begin to defend their choice of clothes in order to prove themselves. In contrast, a confident man would just make a quick joke and continue with his conversation undisturbed, “yeah I’m gay on Fridays, anyway…”.

Now, it’s important to realise that there is a big difference between being persistent and being pushy. Being pushy is creepy whereas being persistent is manly. Someone who is pushy doesn’t know when no means no and doesn’t have the character to persevere without reacting personally and in a negative manner. Conversely, someone who is persistent is socially intuitive enough to know when to persevere and when to relent, and has the character to be persistent in a positive and charming fashion.

Here are a couple of examples of different ways that you can handle a situation, one of them is pushy and one is persistent:

Mr. Pushy: Hey, I just saw you from across the road and you’re absolutely adorable. I had to meet you.
Girl: Thanks, but I’m really in a hurry.
Mr. Pushy: So what, you can make time for me.
Girl: No, I can’t. (walks off)

Mr. Persistent: Hey, I just saw you from across the road and you’re absolutely adorable. I had to meet you.
Girl: Thanks, but I’m really in a hurry.
Mr. Persistent: I know you’re in a hurry but I’m in a hurry to meet you. Before you run along tell me something about yourself, what do you do for a living?
Girl: I work in fashion.

The difference between the two examples is that Mr. Persistent doesn’t take it personally when he meets a little resistance to the flow of the interaction. Instead, he perseveres in a friendly manner. Start bringing this kind of persistence to your interactions and you’ll be pleasantly surprised by the results.

Great article. There can be a fine line between pushy and persistent. I think you highlighted the difference excellently.

This has been beneficial to read... I shall see tonight if this works.

This is good brain food. Plus, "ploughing" is an excellent euphemism!

Good article Halcyon and something I've been thinking about lately...

Does this persistent/pushy thing apply to day twos? I've had a fair bit of success lately in getting some heavy kissing action when out but then I'm finding it hard to translate that into more meetings. As you point out an alpha male doesn’t give up at the first sign of trouble and I don’t want to but after a bit of next day text chat with nothing really happening I tend let it die off then spend ages wondering how to restart the vibe without seeming pushy and/or desperate….

What’s the difference between pushy and persistent in that instance??

Cheers guys

If your not getting dates it's probably a little more to do with building an adequate connection on the first meeting. Check out this article...

How to attract women…and how to CONNECT with women | The Authentic Man Within

I enjoyed your post Halcyon - it is a fine balance between pushy and persistent and you have made a good point clearly - cheers dude.

Very interesting article!

A girl I am interested in called me "pushy" yesterday, but I took it in a good way. As this article demonstrates being persistent is Alpha male. For example, nearly all the time I have wanted to see her and I have suggested plans she has said "I will see what my other plans are for the weekend and text you". Now I dont ask her (like an chump or one of her mates would) I say "Right, so I will come round at XXX and we will watch a film and I will cook you dinner". It has worked for me, as it shows that I am going after something that I want! It also presumes she wants to see me (its always on mentality) and a very alpha male characteristic!