The Problem with Authenticity

[Dr_Zed]

There are lot of coaches out there who specialise in "inner game," who tout that they seek to make you the best and "most authentic" version of yourself.

However, authenticity is not always good. In the same way that you can be confident, but retarded and hated. I like to quote this article as an example:

https://blogs.scientificamerican.com...ty-under-fire/

Imagine this - you're an unemployed bum who's over 30 who lives with their parents, and your closest friends are in similar situations. You regularly hang with them and your "conversations" consist of swearing at each other, drinking heavily, farting/belching loads, public urination, and laughing at really politically incorrect or NSFW jokes. Yet, you love hanging with them.

Are you being authentic? Yes. Are you being attractive/relatable when doing this kind of stuff with girls? No.


I've recently looked somewhat dimly at any coach or programme where the *sole* purpose is to be authentic. If you don't have the social skills to work with, then authenticity is useless. I think there's a reason why books like Mystery Method exist which are highly skill focused.

Thoughts?
Z.

[Jeepster]

Non of us are authentic in PU, we have all learnt skills and behaviours to manipulate, that are probably not part of some individuals nature.

On the other hand are the skills and behaviours we learn a conduit to bring out the true authentic nature of an individual if by nature he is whats called a ladies man?

[Dr_Zed]

Yeah, that's what I've been wondering recently when you have guys who have rehearsed scripted routines a dozen times or so, and put them to practise in set... even when they're lying!

A coach wanted to charge me £2500 for 12 weeks of phone coaching to "make me feel better about myself" and thus "be the course to end all courses" in dating. Yet, it doesn't take into account bad body language habits which are completely subconscious (and need someone else to basically edit out), and doesn't practise non-verbals properly. I fail to see value in such remote courses concerning an otherwise in-set activity.

Z

[HaveACuppaTea]

I don't think authenticity is something that can be "measured" by a scientist, you just intuitively know if you're expressing your true self with a person or not. It all depends on the situation and the company you're keeping. Sometimes you'll be expressing it more/sometimes less.

When they talk about "authenticity" in pick up, I interpret it to mean being comfortable with who you are, but just tailoring what you're communicating to the girl by taking into account male/female dynamics and what traits are attractive to women. But it's your personality that is going to either garner that interest/attraction or not, learning to stand correctly or saying some generic "pick up" line, is not what's going to swing it.

A bit of coaching can help, but I get the feeling you're chasing after something you're not going to find.

[Jeepster]

Its all about the pussy. We as men are driven by the desire to get the pussy at all cost, we will lie, cheat, manipulate, do and say what we have to to get it, thats the authenticity, its in our nature, why are we learning PU? To give us an advantage over the AFC's and get more pussy.

[kowalski]

The article you referenced, but did not quote, disagrees with you... as this quote shows...

"Healthy authenticity is not about going around saying whatever is on your mind, or actualizing all of your potentialities, including your darkest impulses. Instead, healthy authenticity, of the sort that helps you become a whole person, involves accepting and taking responsibility for your whole self as a route to personal growth and meaningful relationships. Healthy authenticity is an ongoing process of discovery, involving self-awareness, self-honesty, integrity with your most consciously chosen values and highest goals, and a commitment to cultivating authentic relationships."


Peace,

kowalski