Outskirts of social circles
 

All my life, I've never been inside a true social circle. I have always had lots of friends, a couple of best friends, but most of my friends all belong to different social circles.

I find it so difficult to arrange things with people, as they're usually busy with their other friends, or with a partner if they have one. Then I find myself writing this fucking post on a Saturday morning when I should be out in the sun having a drink.

Has anyone experienced anything similar? I've been trying for years to improve it and be part of a good group of people that always do stuff together, but it just never happens.

I think it simply boils down to your personality. You may notice that girls, more often than not have one close friend to which they are joined at the hip, whilst belonging to another, larger group.

Male social dynamics are somewhat different, more like a pack of wolves than a flock of birds. You will often have your dominant/ Alpha male, followed by a General and then the remainder of the pack, who often compete to be validated by the leader of the group. Above all, never fall into this trap. It's better to be a lone wolf than an arselicking wolf.

I personally am very similar to your predicament and I have a large number of friends, but few I would consider "brotherly" as such. I don't really have a best friend to tell the truth. I note that your PU name is in fact al_phaD, and if you aspire to be an alpha male, by all means feel free to invite some friends from different social circles out at similar times. You can do this gradually, introducing friend A to friend B, and then friend C to D, then D to A etc. When everyone finally meets, you will almost certainly be nominated as the "leader" of the group (you probably will not need to AMOG, although feel free to do so if necessary).

Finally, I would suggest not drinking on a Saturday morning, go to a trendy cafe and grab a flashy looking coffee. That's where the skirts will be, not in the pub talking about football over beer (and smelling of it). I've lived abroad for a long time and have come to the conclusion that the reason foreign men fuck all our girls with relative ease is because of how much alcohol UK fellas drink. You don't need to have an alcoholic drink in your hand to be sociable my friend :)

Packs, flocks, alphas, generals.

There are no packs, there are no flocks, there is no leader. We do not behave in the animal sense because we do not act instinctually. What you are describing is more like a tribe than a group of friends, a group members have no choice in being part of and is fundamentally necessary to their survival normally.

The difference is in the fact that people choose to be around their friends and are quite capable of choosing to be around other people should they believe that time spent with another is worth more than time spent with their friends.

Groups are not groups, they are gatherings of individuals and should be viewed as such, if a person thinks you're more fun than each of those individuals or the collective fun that occurs when all of them gather then you will be chosen over them. If not then deal with it until such a time as you are more valuable (see: the phenomenon where mates stop going out and spend more time with their girl - viewed as more valuable).

Social circles come and go, they're easily broken by fickleness and you'll find that if you look deeper into the lives of those people they usually have other circles that they also either take part in or flit to and from regularly. Life isn't a Carling ad.

Yes, because while we are all individuals and subject to manipulations we are also all completely chaotic and capable of acting completely illogically, irrationally, downright stupidly and entertainingly different to any and all expectations of us.

This is why any form of micro-manipulation or micro-prediction(read:guess work) is altogether pointless.

We can seek to guide proceedings or do things that increases chances favour but true control to the extent of what so many people seem to wish to possess is impossible. That in itself is half the fun anyway, if anyone here could have whatever they wanted would any of you still value it highly or would it simply become normal, average. It would entertain you briefly but our very nature causes us to rate that which is difficult to obtain highly and that which is easy to get low. If everything becomes easy everything becomes all too samey, mediocre, boring.

Thanks for the interesting replies all of you,

I'm still struggling to see the light.. Do I take the advice of traptinrome and invite different friends out from different circles? Note: My "best friend" who I'm closest with did this on his birthday the other day, two of his work friends, and me and him out in town shopping and had lunch..

I don't know if its a personality issue. I am more than up for having fun, joking around, playful banter and all that comes from hanging out with friends. I'm always game for a night out..

I guess half the problem is I don't actually like many dudes around here.. I've always had loads of female friends, most of which I flirt with and will end up banging, but I guess I've just always wanted to be part of a close knit group that goes away for holidays and all that jazz

Dude, if your best friends work friends are cool, then form a new group with the 4 of you.

You can all be "Alpha, leaders, or whatever".

If you don't like the ppl around you, look for new people - go pickup some guys ;)

when you get old and married, most of your friends fuck off with their wives and never speak to you, hence proving that replication is number 1.

how many times has a mate got a new girlfriend and stopped coming out and the phrase "bro's before hoes" used to no effect. replication rules all.

I have very few friends, and i dont see them very often.
Female friends that i hang around with i am also fucking 99% of the time.

my best friends are married and settled and i feel i have very little in common with them these days.

Alpha I've pm you a link to a social circle mastery class its 50% crap but the other 50 is good I used the techniques to break into a night club owners circle working fom zero.

Whats your alternative?