Deservedness Theory

[Darood]

Right I had this thought getting out of bed this morning so this could all be bollocks, but just hear me out.

Right for a while had the thought “you get what you deserve” rolling and rolling in my mind. I’ve been fascinated in how you can change what it is you think you deserve and to allow this to naturally manifest from there.

Well this morning I came up with the idea of deservedness triggers. We all know what a deservedness trigger feels like. It’s that feeling where you’ve set yourself a goal and you achieve it. It’s like a “hehe I knew I could do it” moment. It’s a mental pat on the back on a job well done. It comes in the way of meaningful compliment from someone. Basically it’s an external event that increases your sense of self worth. The more deservedness triggers you have and the bigger the difficulty in obtaining them the greater you’re self worth and your sense of what you deserve.

What I believe happens is when our reticular activations system is out scanning for value, our mind calculates your own self worth based on these deservedness triggers and evaluates it against the perceived value of what ever you come across.

These deservedness triggers are entirely context relavenant. Finishing a marathon wont necessarly lead to an increase in self worth when it comes to looking for a promotion at work. More importantly they only applicable to that person and their model of the world. What one person see’s as an achievement is another persons mundane.

For example, say someone has a model where to get a lot of fanny you need to look buff. Successfully working out time after time will be a huge deservedness trigger. Not only that but when they catch themselves in the mirror it’s another deservedness trigger getting activated.

This also works both ways, say you fail to do something expected or if you don’t meet a goal set then a deservedness trigger gets switched off and your sense of value decreases.

Thinking about this more, I think this why things like the secret and prayer falls on its arse. If you don’t believe you deserve it you’ll never get it and if you do you’ll find yourself throwing away pretty damn quickly.

So how can we use this?

1. Create a model of the world where getting what you want is physically possible.

2. set yourself as many goals and targets as you can and accomplish them.

3. Keep a record of them so you don’t forget what you’ve done.

That should see your sense of self worth go through the roof.

[Knave]

Your so called 'deservedness trigger' are already known as something else in NLP/Psychology.

Maybe you want to consider smoking Malboro's the night before instead.

[Darood]

Originally Posted by Knave

Your so called 'deservedness trigger' are already known as something else in NLP/Psychology.

Maybe you want to consider smoking Malboro's the night before instead.

Alright douchbag what its called in NLP?

[Maxemillion]

THis is good material, thanks Darood. If anything, you want to micronise this concept and start giving mental pats on the back for hundreds of miniature achievements. Set a goal, 'I am going to make breakfast.' Take right action (make the breakfast), stop a moment and give yourself a mental pat on the back (Mission accomplished). Set another goal. I agree this is a KEY aspect of healthy human psychology. It is the healthiest way for concious thoughts and subconcious actions to interact.

-Concious goal, conciously noted as achieved, subconcious value boost.

It is because your own nature is testing you to see if you should be worthy of behaving like an alpha human.

[Jdawg]

Darood, I think the NLP term that comes closest to what you have described is 'State Choice'

Defined as:
In the NLP model referred to as state control. The act of choosing deliberately to construct and inhabit a particular state in a given context, with the intention of achieving one's chosen outcome in that context

Interesting point made on The Secret (I haven't seen/read the prayer) but your right. Can be a case of All The Gear No Idea in which people consistently read and absorb new information on self help and self worth yet never do anything practical to better themselves in life.

Your 3 step model would be a good start to anyone trying to improve an area of their lives.

[Darood]

Originally Posted by Jdawg

Your 3 step model would be a good start to anyone trying to improve an area of their lives.

I like it, the Darood 3 step program for success in anything.

[Darood]

I've been successful in creating a 3 step program in being successful obviously.