Being Natural - Lifestyle and Toolkit
 

This post covers my small spin on being natural.


LIVING A GREAT LIFESTYLE - HOBBIES, TRAVELS AND INTERESTS

The bigger the breadth and depth of your hobbies, travels and interests, the easier it is to have a natural cool aura around people!

Of course, men and women can both find it nice to chat to people about stuff that he/she has no idea about.

• However... if a woman has a hobby and you genuinely also have that same or similar hobby, it is a direct hit which can only make conversation easier and more engaging for both parties.

• Equally, if a woman is from country X and you have travelled to X - it can only make conversation easier and more engaging for both parties.

• Or a woman is from X, not a native English speaker, and if you can speak to her in her native language.

The more you can do this, the more it seems that you and the woman have things in common. Perhaps this seems special to her as there's not many people she meets who are interested in ABC.

Which is true, but in reality your breadth and depth of hobbies, studies, travels and interests is so wide that she has only become aware of a small subset; that subset was customized to her, in that moment. You did not list every single thing you do or have ever done. Instead, relevant things were gradually relvealed in the course of conversations between you.

You are genuinely an interesting person.

There are no canned openers and no bullshit tricks.

This post is about picking up women in the street or bar/club. However, in the very process of doing a wide range of hobbies, travels and interests, you may come into contact with interesting like-minded hot babes who also actively do one of these very same hobbies, travels or interests.

• Example: a single hot babe on the same exercise class as you
• Example: a single hot babe in the same art class as you
• Example: a single hot babe in the same hotel as you during travelling

YOUR OWN EXCLUSIVE INTERESTS VS. SHARED INTERESTS

This is also not an attempt to say that you should never talk to birds about your own interests that you guesstimated that she isn't into. If you explain anything with passion, then you can make it seem interesting. They say that opposites attract, however if you are able to establish common ground - as shown in the previous section - then it helps.


KEY POINTS IN DELIVERY

The important stuff is to:

• listen to her intently: face her, be aware of what she is saying, try and shut up and avoid interrupting
• relate to her story
• be passionate (positive, energetic) when you talk about your hobbies, travels, or interests
• add humour if possible; keep it light, keep it fun, smile and she'll smile back
• utilise visual stimuli, as covered below

TOOLKIT - PHOTOS ON MOBILE PHONE LARGE SCREEN

This is what I do. It works well for me. You might like to try this too.

1. Invest in a modern phone that has a large high resolution screen.
2. You have a range of good photos that you took with a good quality dedicated camera during your travels et al.
   • Do not select all 100 photos from your recent trip to Thailand! Take only the dozen or so best ones. That's enough photos for people on the street or a bar/club to be browsing through in a timely manner.
   • Some of the photos should be group photos, with you in it - larging it up, having fun. Do not select exclusively anononyous landscapes!
3. On your computer: organise these photos into themed folders.
   • Examples - a folder called "Thailand", a folder called "Yoga"
4. Copy these folders of photos onto your phone's memory card.
   • For example, I have one folder for each country I have travelled to in the past two years.
   • For example, I have highlights from my art portfolio from the past year in named themed sub-folders on my phone. Drawings, sketches, paintings.
   • For example, after I won a sports trophy, I had the photo of me holding the trophy on my phone during the presentation. It was a cheesy photo, but that in itself is a fun topic of conversation. I would bridge onto that photo if she was into that same sport.
5. When having these conversations with women about hobbies, travelling and interests, show the evidence!

Use your phone. A picture is worth a thousand words.

Use your finger to slide browse from one photo to the next on your phone. Or hand the phone to her and let her do the browsing.

Either way, it creates an even easier platform to chat together, laugh and enjoy speaking to each other.


ADDENUM

This post is about living an interesting lifestyle and the means to communicate that effectively to a woman.

Note that this post should be used in conjunction with the regular toolkit of a mix of the following.

(There is plenty of information elsewhere on each of these topics.)

• kino
• isolate
• escalate, close
• and optionally: cocky-funny, challenge her views, push-pull

Rebus

Cheers St. Rebus - great post!
I have recently started taking more pictures with my new camera phone, mostly because I have seen this work so well for you when we have been out.

And I totally agree that the more interesting stuff that you do in your spare time, the more naturally interesting and cool a person you will become. I go climbing; I play the Ukelele; I make films; I race go-karts; amongst many other things. I just need a bit of evidence (ie. The tools)

On Saturday night, however, I should have the mother of all conversation pieces: I'll have a video of me doing a bungee jump earlier that day :D

Much love,

Craigus

Love the idea of the phone and a great way to lead into a conversation. The key now is to fill up the memory card with some interesting photos!

A friend of mine did a cool video of him and his friends go karting and crashing into the other racers

In Middlesborough they do bungee jumping off a high bridge, and the website said theres only 3 proper bridge bungee sites in the world, and thats one of um..

I think you have misread the post - Rebus is saying that to become more natural, you need to get out and do interesting stuff; lead an interesting life.
The camera bit is almost secondary (a toolkit as he says) that you can utilise to demonstrate easily just how awesome the life you lead is. Its not about routines, its about being an interesting motherfucker to the girl you chat to.

Much love,

Craigus

Again, you have missed the point. This is the part that Rebus is saying will help you on your way to being 'natural':

And this is peripheral:

It is a 'toolkit'; a way of demonstrating your awesomeness. You see? He pre-qualifies it with "you might like to try this too".

Ergo, Rebus is not saying that in order to be natural, you have to employ the MM Photo Routine, as you have lazily concluded. He is saying that it is a useful 'tool' with which to demonstrate the interesting life that you lead.

That's what I think he means anyway. Maybe I'm wrong: maybe Rebus will come on and say "No, the Photo Routine is integral to being natural". But somehow, I don't think he does mean that, and I don't think you do either, K.

Much love,

Craigus

A few hours earlier...

I haven't missed any points. Just because Rebus suggests having pictures as a tool to DHV with, doesn't mean that he is now advocating using structured routines in order to be more natural.
You were the one who labelled it "MM Photo Routine".

Does this mean that you have never shown a girl photos in fear of suddenly not being natural? Or if I genuinely saw a fight break out outside a club, I couldn't tell that to the bird I'm talking to for fear of running a Style routine?

Different PU methods like MM or StyleLife do not have ownership over actions just because they have given it a label.

What are you saying? That if, after having done my bungee jump tomorrow, I show the video to the chick I'm chatting up, I'm suddenly using a routine and thus not being natural?
In your words: what the shit?!

Much love,

Craigus

After a quick search of the threads you have posted in the past:

Mobile Phone Lottery

Is this not a routine, designed to Demonstrate Value?...

Maybe I don't get it. If what you are saying is that, if I were to talk to a chick about the awesome stuff that I do in my spare time, it would only be natural if there wasn't an agenda, then what on earth is the point of being a natural PUA? There is an agenda to almost everything you do as a PUA.

Surely we all DHV everyday of our lives - we wouldn't do stuff if we didn't DHV. "Being impressive" is just another way to say DHV. It's a natural human instinct to brag. Again, I think we are on to labels. Just because one school of thought takes a natural thing such as "being impressive" and renames it DHV, it doesn't mean you have suddenly become a routine-running MM clone.

If all this is what being natural does mean, then I don't wanna be natural. I prefer to live by Bruce Lee's mantra: “using no way as a way, using no limitations as a limitation.”

Also, I have no idea what 'straw-manning' means.

Much love,

Craigus

It's true that there is something from MM called photo routine.
It's false that I am influenced by this or attempted to recreate it here, despite there being some overlap onto its territory.

The awesome lifestyle is clearly being natural.

The phone usage outlined is NOT a pre-scripted routine; there is no script as you are dynamically responding to, enriching and building upon related conversation with a women in realtime. You do not have an ABC set script of exactly what lines to say and DHV build in a inflexible predetermined technique.

So if someone who has nothing to do with pick-up books/ideas, never read them, has his photos saved on his phone into organised folders, then happens to show them to another human being that he is not being genuine / natural / authentic / true? "Bullshit Mr Han man!"

Anyway regardless of subtleties over methodology terminology: this stuff works, lead to real results. Which is therefore is the main debate for each person reading and trying it: does it also work for you or not? Works for me.

Just googled straw-manning.

You employed the Straw Mann Fallacy to great effect here:

Completely discounting the main point of the post (that being: lead an interesting life and you will become interesting), you pointed attention to a secondary part of the original post (using pics on a phone), to undermine Rebus' attempt to describe what he feels is a good way to becoming more natural in your PU.

Your use of the Straw Man Fallacy was the main reason for me arguing the point in the first place.

Much love,

Craigus