commitment v motivation
 

Had an interesting chat a while back with an executive coach, which as I`m sure plenty on here will know can be hit and miss.

I always used to blather on about being motivated, but he was able to articulate the relative importance of being committed as opposed to the m word.

I felt zero motivation when the alarm buzzed this morning, but dragged my sorry ass into the gym because I had committed 100 per cent to doing this.

I haven`t ducked a single session in 2014.

This subtle switch seems to be working for me, and of course it can be applied to pick up.

How many of us are already slipping on sarging/approaching/committing to having a real go at this in 2014?, despite telling ourselves over xmas this is the year I learn French, run a marathon, build a model Messerschmitt whatever you get the picture.

Anyway have a great day and commit unequivocally.

I think there's an aspect of habit to it after a while. You learn to like the gym, it takes that initial hurdle to start enjoying it.

When I started Day Game, after the holidays I didn't really enjoy it. After a few days pushing myself to just get out there I liked it again. Success and returning to the habit was the catalyst to enjoy it again.

Its a mix. When you first start a habit/hobby etc you need commitment, if its something you need to do versus something you want to do then commitment is the most important thing.

But if you want to get good you need motivation and that should be the primary thing for your habit (Gym, PU, Archery, Badger Baiting, Snooker) but there will be times when pure commitment is what you'll have to rely on.

I used to have this in the gym, guaranteed one day each week out of my five training sessions I would have to do pure commitment, "Im going because I have to not because I want to".

They are two sides of the same coin. You have to be motivated to be committed, and committed to be motivated. No one can be motivated but not really into something. Its a cruise versus blast.

They are interchangeable things you must have for any endeavor. In picking up, it could be half way through the night you lose interest, get tired and want to go home but its the final hour when you have the most chance of pulling.

Easier said than done innit.

Great post though, good reminder for me as I slip on the commitment part after I've dogged through the initial phase and rely on 'when I want to' for a lot of areas in my life haha.

For pickup I've definitely had to ignore how I'm feeling and just rely on my commitment to get out of the house and have a go. It's a similar thing for the gym. I know once I'm out I'll be okay and later I'll feel a whole lot better I didn't listen to my feelings and just went regardless.

But now the motivation is starting to come, especially for pickup. I'm starting to enjoy the experience more and the challenge. They say having the right challenges is what keeps you motivated. So you need to keep setting the bar a little bit higher each time you make progress.

I'm always on, in that if there's a cute girl near me I'll talk to her without thinking about it first. It's developing into a habit.

Motivation could be a like confidence in that you can only get it by taking the action first. If you wait for it you might be waiting a long time.

Once it's a habit you don't need motivation or commitment you just take action automatically.

Good thread.

Thanks for the replies everyone.
The distinction between stuff you actually want to do etc seems obvious in hindsight.
I also like the idea of a sliding scale as you move from committed to motivation taking over.
When I first started looking into this stuff my motivations had a high degree of clarity.
Initially it was driven by basic drivers...to avoid long, Gobi desert style female droughts.
But also not wanting to feel intimidated by anyone in any situation.
It seems silly to think of being nervous about talking to beautiful women in work situations now, but that is how it was!
I think it`s starting to evolve to a good place now though, more about having more fun in all areas of life and having more choice with women.
Thanks again for your thoughts.

Same for me mate. Today I was in the lift at work and at one floor the door opened and a beautiful woman got in. I made eye contact and smiled, she smiled back, her eyes went really wide, then she was coy. It's a long way from where I was before when I would have been pressing myself back against the wall and staring at the ceiling.

Work can be a great place to practice this. There's tons of hot women where I work but I never took of advantage of it before.