Self develp issues
 

Keep getting into troubl at work. Took a new job, pretty social, trying to push myself to develop as a person under rough conditions. Job involves working with the public, command and challenge, leading so is good. Keep getting in problems with seniors who try to correct/improve my behaviour by threatening to fire me. I think its mainly because I talk to them like equals, not superiors and I'm reasonably unaffcted and argumantative when they criticise me. later I get upset and feel under threat, usually in their presence.

Instead of blaming these discipline warnings on others, I am looking at them as ultimately being caused by me. (And trying to limit making things worse thru positive behaviour). I dont want to fall out with the seniors bcos this will ultimately set a spiral of social doom and I will end up getting fired due to all hating eachother. Equally I dont want to re-enforce their behaviour by continuing to be friendly to them, joking around etc. But third option, limit interactions, only do work related talking, is what they want anyway. They want to be known as having power. The guy said to me today
"none of us can change our character, but you need to change yours".

maybe I should just be super unaffected "I dont mind you r trying to get me fired, lets have a bloody good chat hahaha laugh joke" I dont really know. :mad:

I agree don't fuck up things with your boss if you need the money/job..

But also don't be treat like shit either

Dude, if you're not doing something wrong then don't take it. Stand your ground and don't let a power game affect you.

The only way you can be removed, provided you're in a typical contract job, is if you are doing something genuinely wrong.

If you're not, fuck them. Play them against more important superiors or against themselves for bullied dismissal where the law absolutely favours the employee and not the boss.

If you're not contracted and actually want to keep the job then fall in line and belt up because they can let you go for whatever the hell they want.

On the other hand bear in mind that unless you're in the favour of the man who signs the contracts when yours is up that they will simply choose not to renew it. At least, that's how local councils prefer to sack people anyway.

turned 28 the other day sadly. cheers, I will not be a grudge holding baby about it if possible. When I get threatened I react either with passive-aggresive argument or by trying not to cry and not being able to speak a reasoned sentence, even tho I am calm and reasoned in my mind. there is a barrier of upsetness that prevents me saying 'your just doing your job I know, I will try harder and not do XYZ, I do want this job.' etc. Ideally I'd just 'grow some bollocks' and 'be a man about it' but physiologically I am fixed with the ones I already have. :)

I think its a combo of depleted blood sugar and the feeling that fucking with my job is a direct attack on my life. like I'll die if I get fired, which obv. is not true but mentally I will have failed at something I'm trying fucking hard to do and that will undoubtedly spin me into a lonely anti-social depression. Equally they want to push me to give everything I've got to this job, lines have to be drawn or I'll get constant misinterpretation and abuse. I just want to get on with everyone and have fun, get paid.

I'll give offering value and being the best worker possible a go. thanks for listening to my moanings.

Well adjusted people often don't need advice but merely people to bounce their thoughts off. Thought in words through conversation often offers more clarity than the clusterfuck and billion thread cloud of thought that occurs internally.

You already knew these answers. You just needed to uncloud your thoughts. You can teach yourself to do that without the need to talk to others though. Bear that in mind, you can become better for it.

Not that there's anything wrong with conversational thought, it's just that sometimes there isn't anyone around to bring that clarity when it's necessary.

How do you teach yourself to uncloud thoughts yourself without talking to others?

Emotional control. Connection an issue is often what stops us from thinking rationally.

Not that a lack of emotion is something that people should aspire to, being able to control it when you need to make decisions is a skill though. In poker making stupid decisions because you act emotionally is known as being on tilt. Same principle.

Someone start a thread on Poker technique. I f-ing love Poker. Cheers RLAJay, ur right, just havin a place to talk thought outloud allows solutions to form. I'm already improving my mood at work thru relaxing and trying to enjoy my day. Thats why this forum is awesome.