My story so far

[lovesickmale]

Hey everyone,

Im fairly new to pickup but have known about the community for almost a year now. I was very sociable growing up, due to I think having a high IQ and being smarter than all of the other kids. I thought of socialising as something that just happens because thats all I ever knew. I had a few girls who wanted relationships with me as I left school and turned them all down because I liked someone else. This person didn't like me back. At 16 I hadn't slept with any of these girls, because I had created a self image of myself as someone who would meet 'the one' and not have problems with women.

Then I developed severe acne in college, and my social life went down the toilet. I focused hard on my academic studies and football and progressed massively in those fields. I got offered a semi-professional contract for a low division team in the UK, and got into one of the best medical schools in the UK. I chose to go to university because I knew life had so much more to offer me than kicking a football about. Starting university I threw myself straight into the nightlife culture of drinking, smoking, and relying on caffeine to stay awake in lectures. I though I was progressing socially and had to what most guys would see as good results. I reached double digits on my sex tally, had a threesome, went on multiple dates, and had a good social circle of friends with the football team, and others, all within a couple years.

Then I started getting panic attacks. My grades and physical fitness had suffered because of the way of life I had been living. I dropped out of university, went to live back home, and went into a bit of a hole. Over the past 6 months I have managed to pull myself out of the pit I was in by sorting my health out with diet, exercise, and sleep. I am currently retaking a year at university, and have worked through many other issues. I still think there is something wrong with me and there are ongoing investigations.

The long and short of my situations right now is that I cannot have alcohol, caffeine, or nicotine in any way, shape, or form. Ive never tried more exotic drugs but I think now would be a catastrophic time to try them. I'm living a very mundane lifestyle, making sure I get sleep, exercise etc. Those close to me are comparing my current lifestyle to being a nun. I have also reverted back to some of my ways in terms of social anxiety, when I had severe acne in college.

I'm doing this in an attempt to break the chain, and using this as an opportunity to learn to socialise sober. Every cloud has a silver lining right? Hopefully the docs will find out whats wrong with me physically so I will be able to leap into a better life of partying, staying up late, and pushing myself both physically and mentally when safe to do so. For the time being I just want to focus on learning to socialise sober in the daytime and hopefully meet some wonderful young ladies in the process.