So this is HB8\9, 19 years old, to the best of my knowledge conservative, very shy at first and a self professed nerd.

We've met up, hung out, she came to my house... all seemed to be going well, even if she is shy as hell.

So this last Saturday, I went out with the boys for a few drinks (had a semi successful sarge even then), and when I got home, I signed into facebook and we spoke on messenger. We asked about each other's evenings and she said she went out for dinner and the cinema with an "amico" (male friend). Obviously I didn't question further or do anything that might indicate that I cared.

Before I continue, I'm not saying this is wrong at all. But please keep it in mind as I continue.

Anyway, continued talking and yesterday I said "let's hook up" on saturday. She responded that on saturday she "may have something to do", and after a moment's silence added, "un altro giorno?" (another day?)

Now, it could well be that she does has something to do. It may be that she is seeing her friend, and he may well be a guy she is interested in. That's fine I guess. However, I don't want to seem like a BETA AFC little bitch either. So I said, "let's talk again later in the week because I don't know what I'm doing Friday or Sunday". (note the busy DHV spike there).

So, I'm wondering whether to accept it if she isn't down for Saturday and settle for Sunday or something. However on the other side of the coin, she made time for some "friend".

What would you do? up until now, what would you have done differently? anyone who knows the female mind well, any idea what's going on in her brain?

Is the rating of value you’ve given this girl based on how she looks?

Beauty and other attractive traits are subjective to an individual, so this isn't a good indicator of anything really. Other attractive traits are subjective to an individual also.

Try next time maybe saying "a girl I like", "a girl I find interesting", "a girl I respect".......

When I see HB10 or HB7 written in text on this forum I can’t help but imagine a calculative wonk with deep emotional insecurities. (Reason being he has gotten into pickup is to try and fill in the void of emotional insecurities).

Is she very shy? Why may you be thinking that she's shy?

Could it be she is young and may not have had too many experiences with guys? What could you do make her feel more at ease?

Could it be this is an ego defence strain of thought that prevents you from feeling as though you failed and didn't get to where you wanted with her?

If you’re feeling that a girl is shy with you…….. Then maybe try and build more comfort. Don't expect every girl to know what she's doing. This is an ideal opportunity to take up the position of a Man and be for her what she wants and needs.

Don't be put off if she's not entirely comfortable with touching etc., she might just have never had it before, so it’s naturally for her to be cautious and wary. You already know she would have a fantastic sexual time with you, right???

How could you help her to be more herself? If I were a 19 year old girl with little or no experience with meeting up with a guy and going back to his house...... I would be shy also.

Do you mean that she is sexually shy?? Or shy with talking???? What exactly???

Have you kissed her yet???? Is she shy when you touch her????

If you just spoke about how your evenings went then maybe you need to spice up the conversation.... with flirtatious risks..... what I mean by that is start off gentle and see where it takes you.... say something random in the middle of the conversation like "I find it hard to concentrate when its wet outside"......... randomness like this can take you both on a magical pathway exhilarating linguistics. You can create interest, curiosity and want with randomness like that. Don't play it safe, gamble and take risks in your social interactions. This also conveys that you have testicals in between your legs!

Did you care???? If you cared then why do you care??

It’s important to learn why you think how you think before trying to decipher how a particular woman may think. All women will vary considerably; however what is prominent to me is woman tend to respond more to risk takers. Be a social risk taker. Put your neck on the line with this girl.

She said that she may have something to do???? Could she be taking the piss out of you????

Do you let woman take the piss out of you????

Did she say "aww i really want see you but I gotta go to my nans, what about another time??"

NO SHE DIDNT???? Then maybe she's taking the piss!

If she is taking the piss, are you going to let her??

lets talk again later???? you wish to talk again with a girl who may be taking the piss??? Do you really have nothing better to do????

The emotion you may feel sometimes ("jealousy") is there for a reason. Providing you know how to use this emotion it is there to help you. If she's telling you she has gone places with a male friend this is a definite sign that she's not interested.... Why else would she feel the need to tell you it was a MALE friend??? Wouldn't she just say “i went to out with my friend”.???????

If she liked you and respected you she wouldn't want to perposely create any negative emotion in you!

It’s not about knowing the female mind; it’s about knowing your own mind. I hope you know what I mean by this. If not let me know and I will explain.

GOOD LUCK!


AJay

Fuck, what did you do, play the orbital friends game
Why didnt you make a move on her or at least make it apparent you were interested in her

I would have anyway

I would have absorbed her into the collective first chance i got -

anyway - maybe this 'friend' is a guy shes into and fucking - maybe you would ahve found this out if you had made moves on her when she was at your house and or potentially saved yourself from wasting time

if she is busy, why do u think she should drop everythin for you


if you have a gf, and she wants to go out with her mates rather than see u, its not that she likes u less, sometimes plans r plans

some peoples egos are so damaging

Get on with my life, continue to date other girls and have fun with my mates.

She's obviously doing the same so if something happens it happens. If not you've still got the rest of your life...

So I met this girl I respect and her ugly mate would not leave us alone..

OKay, thank you thank you and thank you...

however one thing I MUST clarify before I continue: Obviously for the purpose of this forum I translated everything into English, but the girl is Italian and as such the conversation was in Italian. I obviously don't want to give you a lesson, but just quickly in Italian there is a masculine and feminine, and as such "amico" means male friend, and "amica" is female. There isn't a gender neutral word and therefore she can't really hide the gender of her friend, as a girl can when speaking English.

Other than that however, most of the advice here was constructive and useful for future thinking... thank you especially to AJay.

I actually posted the same question in another forum and a guy there said that if she wanted to lose me, she'd've said she was on a date. The fact that she said "friend", indicated interest, whether he was a "date" or not.

Anyway, I was actually talking last night shortly after I posted the question and it seems to be going very well actually. Maybe, as always I overanalysed a bit.

She asked me if I was working because she was hoping to "come and annoy" me in my office. She also wants a "hug" next time I see her (she's devout catholic, so any form of contact is a huge step up).

However, again to AJ you thoughts were very constructive. Thanks