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saying 'i love you' -
15-12-2011, 03:37 AM
Hey guys, seems like probably quite a random question but... since you've began your journeys as improved men (i wont say pua's because that annoys me), would you tell a girl you love her and be emotionally open with her? from my personal experience since i've began my journey i've only focused on getting one night stands so have little experience along the relationship side of things. One major thing i've learned thats (fairly fucking obvious now above anything) is the obvious factor that girls like a guy who is a challenge, which makes me wander whether being so vulnerable around a girl emotionally has any positive outcome? thoughts???
    
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(#2)
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15-12-2011, 08:48 AM
I have no problems at all showing my feelings to a girl
and i beleive if being open with somone is detrimental to your relationship with her then shes not the right person you should be with. Long term you need a girl thats on your level - BE YOURSELF You can be open from 2 vantage points, 1 being open because you are weak and insecure - this will usually have a negative effect if she isnt into you as much as you are her and 2 being open from a confident secure perspective-- girls already into you will be MORE into you, girls not quite into you can be sucked into being into you, seeing your confidence and balls tell her you love her out of confidence not fear be open - if you have any doubts think 'fuck it'
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| The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Refl3x For This Useful Post: | ||
Lovefish (15-12-2011), mastere666 (15-12-2011) | ||
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15-12-2011, 09:23 AM
its not sayin you love them, or showing affection.
its doing it with an intent of reciprication. if yu say, i love you, then site and wait for a response, or kick of coz they dont say it back then your being needy if you say, i love you then just continue with what ur doin! its complete confidence. ur not assed if she says it or not, or respond negatively. and if she does, ur on a diff page so what this is kinda where i am... but im still not all that emotional anyway
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| The Following User Says Thank You to Phil For This Useful Post: | ||
mastere666 (15-12-2011) | ||
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15-12-2011, 10:34 AM
Liking the term "Improved men", good shout. As for the whole "I Love You" thing... To be honest I've never really had an issue being open with people, I had approach anxiety more than anything but... with love it's like, if you're ready to say it, and you want to be with that person then why not be open about it?
I mean, just listen to any chart music from the last 40 years, there's always one song about "the one that got away" - so I figure it's better to be open and say how you feel than to stay tight-lipped, and let them leave.
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| The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Volta For This Useful Post: | ||
mastere666 (15-12-2011), Refl3x (15-12-2011) | ||
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15-12-2011, 06:34 PM
tell niel how you feel about him  The Fuckest Uppest
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15-12-2011, 10:16 PM
kool, interesting perspectives, thanks guys
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15-12-2011, 10:43 PM
Quote:
..... ur clearly telling them then waiting for a response... if you tell them... then act like nothins changed, and dont act like a little lapdog in wait for her to tell u .. it will be fine, its just that most will say it, then say "DO YOU LOVE ME??? VALIDATE ME" and dont say it before u even know them... that is a way to make em run
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| The Following User Says Thank You to Phil For This Useful Post: | ||
Maxemillion (15-12-2011) | ||
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(#8)
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16-12-2011, 12:01 AM
I never really say it. Ever.
I resent being expected to. I guess it comes down to what people are think you are saying when you say it. If I say it to a girl does it mean I'm going to be sexually faithful to her? No. Does it mean I'm going to sack off all my various plans and aspirations in order to make keeping her happy the sole purpose of my existance? Not a cat's chance in hell. If she thinks it means those things she's in for a shock. But then if I say it back (or if I think and feel it without saying it) it probably DOES mean that if it came down to it I'd die for her, or die if it meant she'd live... So it's a strange one. I always think if it's true it shouldn't need saying. Then again I think maybe I can 'love' someone and do all the things to them that you aren't supposed to do to people you love...so who knows maybe I'm just a fuck up... 
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16-12-2011, 06:36 AM
I think what messes this whole thing up is that the English only has a single word for love which covers a whole magnitude of sins. Hebrew has 3 words for love, covering brotherly love, spontaneous & passionate and then a deliberate choice of affection.
Like Refl3x and Phil say, tell a girl you love her because you have fostered that feeling. Love is a doing word so the girl should know anyway from the way you treat her. I'd also say make sure that you know that you love her, that it's not infatuation, honeymon period, first "real" relationship or whatever else might temporarily make you feel euphoric. But do it because you love her and you want to tell her, not because you think it will make her like you more or win her over EDIT: or just get it out the way early and open with it...
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16-12-2011, 07:50 AM
personally i think people care too much
who cares if you say it and expect them to say it back - thats your right who cares if you say it everyday or even 3 times a day - thats your right if they dont like you for you, then fuck them all! find somone that does like it when you say love you 400 times a day if you do anything from a position of high self value and confidence you are awesome
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| The Following User Says Thank You to Refl3x For This Useful Post: | ||
mastere666 (17-12-2011) | ||
