Frame Control

[savage]

There's this guy that i work with, and he always seems to dominate my frame so i need ideas to sort out the situation.

He is a natural, hb9 girlfriend, wemon always like him, good looking, good style, does what he wants regardless of everyone else, takes leader position in the group. I've listed 3 points which i think he does to me below:

1/ He amogs me by putting subtle negative remarks and comments on what i'm doing, which puts him in the dominent position. Even though i know there just neg's, it still supresses all my ideas and puts me in a constant inferior feeling. (note i think he neg's me more than anyone because i would be more of an intellectual threat to him)

2/ He puts his point across so strongly that everybody is convinced that his way is the right way and they follow him. Even when i know he's wrong.

3/ He gets me to comply with all these stupid tasks, keeps on pushing the boundries and the result is that I just comply and end up doing whatever he order's me to. If I don't do what he says, i kind of look and feel like an asshole.

END RESULT, my ideas are supressed, I feel inferior and the team always follow him whether he's right or wrong.

I'm looking for ideas on how to dominate and control the group/ frame, and get into a position where i can express my ideas more freely and take leadership position

Any idea's??

Cheers

[Knave]

He's behaving like an alpha male, I wonder if this is just a set of traits that can be mimicked??

How to Become an Alpha Male - John Alexander

I have say I dealt with a lot of Alpha's and they are tiresome, best way I found was is to ridicule, ignore or annoy (quick fire questions is a funny way to annoy). Some of the 'Game' stuff works but its a bit too canned now.

You won't get into leadership position overnight and to be fair I've never experienced alpha prats in the workplace it never works on me, so I'm probably not the best person for advice, but just try to erode his dominance little by little.

Something you can start doing from monday is ignoring the fucker, if you're not comfortamble with that just say you didn't hear then ignore him again. It will become fun. I used to enjoy winding alpha's up in clubs because when they lose it, the women notice as well, so funny. So have fun with it. Woman will always be drawn to alpha's and men that 'get it'. Woman can sense this in an instant. Your here to get good with women, that will help as well.

[Knave]

Originally Posted by kowalski

Your antagonist is better than you, now. You are jealous of him, but you should look up to him

The antagonist is not better than you, he sounds like a dick and believing he is better is not the correct way to deal with this, quite the opposite in fact. End

Originally Posted by savage

He puts his point across so strongly that everybody is convinced that his way is the right way and they follow him. Even when i know he's wrong.

Originally Posted by kowalski

Your antagonist is better than you, now. You are jealous of him, but you should look up to him

Why would you want to look up to him he is clearly stupid as well.



You can’t learn leadership from a youtube video and you can’t get instant results from a book about Alpha’s but by contrast knowing what an alpha is about and there many weaknesses gives you the upper hand and in order to behave like one you first need to understand them.

Good luck mate and I’m assuming you’re smart enough not to get fired in the process whereas Kowalski seems to have less faith in you.

[chops147]

"stab him in the back, but do it, do it with a sincere smile and a velvet glove"

napolion

[Phil]

Originally Posted by kowalski

Something you can start doing right now, assuming you want to keep your job, is ignore the last post.

Your antagonist is better than you, now. You are jealous of him, but you should look up to him. You can't change the real problem with tricks, or by being a dick to him.

There is a link to a good article on leadership qualities here - http://www.puaforum.co.uk/psychology...ip-traits.html


Peace,

kowalski

this is so right, u know when you wer talking about him i was thinking, this guy is me...

thing is mate, your not gonna mimic him , and your not gonna beat him down... he is the leader of your group... and as such u should just accept & learn from him.

K is spot on ... stop being jealous...

if someone is better than you... learn from them SIMPLES..

i always follow this rule.

ive been top sales everywer i been.... im in a new company and gettin my ass handed to me instead of crying i accepted it and have been learning alot... and am now closing in on the pack...if you cant beat them, join them, learn from them... then beat them

take this advice

[AJay]

Where do you work? this might be me?? If u carnt beat them join them. You will make yourself look like a dick if you try and challenge him. Just accept your not the leader in that setting and find another group of people who you can be the leader of. There are certain situations when im not the leader and others where i am.

But if its hurting you the way he speaks to you, take him to one side and explain how you feel. Obviously without being a pussy about it, just explain you dont like the way he tries to make you look like a fool in front of everyone. Do it as though your a teacher taking a naughty pupil aside to explain what he's done wrong. But there again enless you are naturally alpha male he might just laugh at you...... Practise being non reactive to anything he says or does. NEVER LAUGH AT PEOPLES JOKES WHEN YOU DONT FIND THEM FUNNY!!! i carnt stress this enough, it lowers your value so much when you pretend to laugh at someones jokes which wernt funny (your handing over your power when you do this)........ Concentrate on body language and respond to your true emotion, dont put on fake emotion just to fit in or to please others.



AJay

[AJay]

Fuck me i just read the replies.... seems like we are of simular kind Phil.

AJay

I'm certainly not the best at being ALPHA but some food for thought:

Is the mere fact that your letting this get to you, making you less alpha?
From all the posts I read on here, it seems the better option is to not be assed about shit like this.. Its obviously easier said than done, but try to just not give a shit about things..

Also remember, try not to worry about shit that you can't change.

Try to not let things emotionally bother you, especially don't show it if it does bother you

[flows101]

Step 1

STOP REACTING to him.

Stop 2

Any thing he says get him to REPEAT IT AGAIN & AGAIN & AGAIN until he realize's you are TOOLING HIM.

Step 3

Any thing he tells you to do say you will do it LATER

Example 1:

AMOG: Yo flows your a COOL GUY * sarcastic*

Me: sorry what do you say? *confused look*

(Then look AWAY when he replies)

AMOG: your a COOL GUY * sarcastic*

Me: (turn to face him) sorry I was some where else, what did you say mate.

AMOG: What ever

Example 2:

AMOG: flows do this for me

Me: Yeah cool I will do it in abit

AMOG: I need you to do it know

Me: Yeah that's fine I'll do it later

AMOG: I SAID DO IT NOW

Me: *calm and cool* chill out mate, I said I'll do it later, IF iv got time.

[mastere666]

Originally Posted by flows101

Step 1

STOP REACTING to him.

Stop 2

Any thing he says get him to REPEAT IT AGAIN & AGAIN & AGAIN until he realize's you are TOOLING HIM.

Step 3

Any thing he tells you to do say you will do it LATER

Example 1:

AMOG: Yo flows your a COOL GUY * sarcastic*

Me: sorry what do you say? *confused look*

(Then look AWAY when he replies)

AMOG: your a COOL GUY * sarcastic*

Me: (turn to face him) sorry I was some where else, what did you say mate.

AMOG: What ever

Example 2:

AMOG: flows do this for me

Me: Yeah cool I will do it in abit

AMOG: I need you to do it know

Me: Yeah that's fine I'll do it later

AMOG: I SAID DO IT NOW

Me: *calm and cool* chill out mate, I said I'll do it later, IF iv got time.

This is all well and good, but if hes the manager you'll just get your ass fired. Also pretending you don't understand something can just make you look gormless... especially when it's with regards to someone with higher value than you. I agree with Phil on this one... take the shit, learn from it and become a better person. The very guy who is bothering him was probably someones bitch at some stage.