Comebacks..

Something I really struggle with, is comebacks.

What made me think of this topic is, at work, on Fridays it is dress down day, so we all come in casual clothes. I came in today in a t-shirt and some grey sweats, as I find them comfy..

One of the guys in the office said to me: "Did you forget to get dressed this morning?" I looked at my clothes, and he said "Well you're still in your PJs". I just grunted and laughed so as to not take offence, cos I know he's joking.

Its things like this, I struggle with what to say back. I know its friendly banter, but I'm no good at carrying it on. Usually its like 10 mins later I think of the ultimate comeback.

Are some people naturally better at thinking on the spot of things to say? Is there a way to get better at this?

I'm not just talking about in the office though. In life in general, when people give you friendly banter/shit tests/insults..

[Paddy]

Well wit is largley a state thing, but also depends on your general sense of humour. I.e. it really is a 'sense'. Just watching comedy and bantering with friends consistently will sharpen that one up.

More importantly though, and this is relevant to stand up comedians, you have to be coming from the right place. Being anxious and self conscious usually is a mental block when it comes to comedy and general witticisms, so you might first want to ask yourself 'Why do I care whether I'm funny or not?'. I'm not saying you shouldn't care, but begin a mini journey of self discovery and reflection that will often help you truly see the funny things in life and appreciate them, rather than just making jokes for other people. Is a joke funny if the audience doesn't laugh? If you genuinally find it so, then you're off to a good start.

[Knave]

I sound like Keiza here (wish I had the tit) two of the biggest problems you'll face is AA and shit tests.

In both cases its easier chatting about than doing it. Yes, I suppose some are better accepting it and bouncing back than others.

It's especailly hard if you're the sensitive type that takes things to heart because no amount of telling you its not personal is going to work.

I'm not sure there is cure beyond gaing confidence and not giving a fuck what people think.

The good news is you can become immune to it and gain expereince learning how to come back quick.

This magic pill is exposing yourself to it, repeatedly. From personal experience it works.

Open a group, AMOG give you some shit, you sulk away, open another group the girl shit tests you to fuck. you feel shit, BUT...

...Eventually, you'll become desensitizedto to AMOG shit and when a girl shit tests you you'll give it her back. Its experience and the only way to get it IS go out and do it.

[nova]

It depends how comfortable you really are with how you take his comments and how much you allow yourself to speak your mind. Things like Improv classes are a wicked way of getting comfortable with speaking your mind off the cuff worrying less how it turns out.

Well the guy at work is like twice my age (I'm 20, he is probably late 40s) so its like an age thing, he wears smart and casual, I wear relaxing sweats on my dress down day. I don''t take offence and I think it's funny, I want to enjoy witty banter, but sometimes I can just never think of things to say.

I guess I need to just hang out more with friends and enjoy the banter some more, and not take anything personal (cos after all, everybodys opinion means nothing right)

Some interesting replys and quite some food for thought. Thanks

[Knave]

Originally Posted by danieljamie

not take anything personal (cos after all, everybodys opinion means nothing right)

Correct

If it happens again, A non verbal I use is big smile point finger right in his chest (non-agressive), turn away.

[Refl3x]

in a friendly work environment just use it as practise.
you can come back with friendly comesbacks or you can start ramping them up so they get really cutting

"Did you forget to get dressed this morning?" I looked at my clothes, and he said "Well you're still in your PJs"

Yeh just got out of bed from fucking your wife, smell your fingers and go hmm yuck --and walk off, never wait for a comeback

"Did you forget to get dressed this morning?" I looked at my clothes, and he said "Well you're still in your PJs"

Or i could have dressed like you and looked like a cunt..again turn and walk

Personally with strangers in bars etc unless i engage somone in banter myself, i dont usually react to it coming back from them.
obviously if its cutting enough to me they`ll end up on their ass

[Sky]

It's very easy to say that when you're with someone you know well, you naturally start to think in a more similar fashion. This in turn obviously makes the "comeback" much easier and more natural.

Away from that i agree that:

Being anxious and self conscious usually is a mental block

Be comfortable in yourself and care-free - it really does help.

Sky

[Paddy]

In fairness his joke didn't sound very funny, so it probably wouldn't stimulate much witty thinking. If you're really interested in comedy, the Magic Bullets reccomendation 'The Naked Jape' is actually a really solid, funny and interesting book all about comedy and how it's used, from the formula to put downs.

[Breaker]

I find it handy to have few standard reactions if I can't think think of a sufficient reply, they might not be too easy to explain on here though as the require noises or specific expressions, for example a jokey sarcastic "wheey" in a deep monotone voice works well or with girls if she says something I don't like I might repeat what she said in a mock kids voice. Just simple things that can be used any time so you don't freeze up.