how do i go from not being able to approach girls to approaching all the time??

[Chris.Kayden]

its getting to the point where i know that in order to improve i must approach however where i am right now in game makes it seem impossible how do i actually go from having a small comfort zone to actually jumping outside of it and approaching. and IT NEVER FEELS LIKE THE RIGHT TIME TO APPROACH. i understand that i make CREATE the right time please contribute.

[whistleblower]

YouTube - Rocky III - Apollo Creed - "There is no tomorrow!"

[Breaker]

You may be past this stage but....

Get used to randomly talking to people, as in tiny interactions like "hows your day going?", to shopkeepers, receptionists whoever.

Make an effort with people you know but haven't spoke to in a while, but could hang out with.

Before going into a club, chat to the bouncers a bit and the people near you in the queue.

At the bar ask nearest girl what she's drinking.

Introduce yourself to every friend of a friend you happen to be around, infact just be the guy who always introduces himself in any situation you can.

If you smoke ask girls for a lighter.

Push yourself to prologue these interactions and create new ones.

Start opening in the smoking areas or at the bar (easiest places I find).

Don't be outcome dependant. Just look to keep getting interactions and make them better and better.

[Knave]

We've all been here kidda. I used to tell myself, I'm not ready, need to read more or watch another DVD. You can always make a million excuses its easy. You could probabaly crash this forum with excuses, group too big, too many men, shes' looking at me but she can't be interested, she's not looikng I can't approach.

Push your self. set your self goals and a agenda it really does work and stick to it. week one talk to random people, week two ask girl question run off, week three ask girl question don't run off. No amount of telling you they don't bite is going to work because sometimes they do, but thats the worst and really its no big deal.

99% of women will smell the fear all over you, but be impressed you've had the bottle to say hi, that will buy 5 minutes.

Push yourself man, you'll look back and think what the hell was I doing I was such a pussy.

[markuk]

The guys here have given you some really good adivce.

I am still really new at this but that they are saying is so bang on it's not even funny.

I talked to some girls then wanted to run away but my wing has been pushing me back just to keep talking with them. Just keeping talking until they run away and lauigh about it later. Don't become outcome depdendent like the guys have said. Keep talking, even if the resonse is negative it doesn't matter. It feels great talking to strangers

[RLAJay]

I had this problem for a long while when I was younger, it bugged me every single time.

I'd sit up at night thinking about times I hadn't taken an opportunity, things I'd held myself back on and constant "what if" events.

Stop telling yourself the time is wrong, stop making excuses, you're only making them because you don't want to approach, because you're scared.

One day, after weeks of going over it in my mind it finally just started clicking into place, you have to force yourself through those excuses, you have to take advantage of those moments before they disappear, stop holding yourself back, you'll kick yourself afterwards if you don't do something about it. Seize the day. It was such a huge tipping point in my life that I have it tattooed across my chest for a very real reason, to always remind me never to waste these moments, if you don't do it you won't actually know if it was the wrong time anyway, doing nothing results in nothing, doing something at least has an outcome - good or bad.

Carpe diem.

[Phil]

u could just go up to more girls!!! ur not gonna die!!

[daleinthedark]

One thing that I found helped get me over AA was reading Neil Strauss' "Rules of The Game" and getting out there and completing the tasks in it. Most of it is spoon fed baby steps but its a really simple way of getting over that initial anxiety and improving your confidence...

[Knave]

Originally Posted by daleinthedark

One thing that I found helped get me over AA was reading Neil Strauss' "Rules of The Game" and getting out there and completing the tasks in it. Most of it is spoon fed baby steps but its a really simple way of getting over that initial anxiety and improving your confidence...

Excellent advice, pretty much what I advised but far better it covers a 30 day plan

[niknak]

I had a really hard time getting going in this, and whilst I haven't got it totally handled I was probably in a similar place you were, as I'm sure a lot of guys have been.

Basically, and I can't stress this enough - you are building it up too much. Before actually getting out and doing approaches I had built it up too much in my head, I imagined either instant massive success with a few lines or dramatic failure with everyone looking, but the reality of it is much more mundane than you are probably imagining:

Examples:

You may open a set standing next to you in a bar with an opinion opener. They'll give you a one word answer then turn around and start talking to each other again.

You open another set of girls with a compliment and they say, quite simply 'We're taken'.

As you are walking past a girl you stop and say 'I like your hair, you remind me of Rhianna.' She smiles and laughs, but you can't think of anything else so simply say 'well enjoy your evening' then leave.

This is the reality of where you're probably going to be, and as you can see, it's pretty mundane!!

My advice to start out and get comfortable, and this comes from someone with initially VERY bad AA:

Go to a bar with lots of people, so that you're positioned right next to sets (thus opening is very simple and v natural) and just ask them something e.g:

'Hey guys *try to smile!*, quick question for you, can you remember the name of the band Justin Timberlake used to be in?'

Then simply thank them and leave. If they ask why you can just say 'I've got a bet with my friend' or something.

Of course this isn't 'game', but it gets you comfortable going into sets.

If I were you, I would forget all notions of 'game' until you've opened at least 5-10 sets this way.