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Default Can I really just walk up to a random girl and tell her I am into her? - 18-01-2021, 07:12 PM

I'm an English guy temporarily in Poland. I don't know if you know but Poland has some very good-looking girls. At the moment everyone is wearing masks all of the time. Though they still look attractive (or maybe they look attractive because their face is covered up, revealing only their eyes.)

I'm 33. I don't look it. I don't feel it. I'm in to younger women. Thing is, I've never had a girlfriend, never had any confidence with women, always been afraid of them. I'm getting on now, I don't want to have this regret. I'm a man. I like women. I want these life experiences. Plus, I want a girlfriend. I want children. Not just yet though.

In spite of the problems with women, I have always felt like a good-looking guy. I've even had a few girls tell me up front they fancy me. I just smiled and said thanks or something.

A few weeks ago I asked a really attractive girl working in a café I'd been frequenting for her phone number. She told me she had a boyfriend. I was just pleased I had the courage to do that for the first time in my life.

I keep seeing hot girls, say, in the shopping mall or some place. I keep feeling like I am in a 'fuck it, get a move on, stop being a pussy' kind of mood and want to just approach a random hot girl. But I'm overcome with fear.

Can I just - and is it normal - to just walk right up to her and say (unscripted) something along the lines of:

"Do you speak English? Even though I can only see your eyes (because the face covering), I like what I see and I am attracted to you. Here's my phone, put your number in it."

Can I just walk in to a shop after noticing a hot sales clerk and tell her straight I like her and want her number. No bullshit, no pussyfooting, no daft small talk (hate that). Just bold, confident.

Is a girl likely to be receptive to this?

I think I worry about my age. I worry they'll think I am creepy. A weirdo. Creepy foreign guy. I am well groomed and take good care of myself. If anything, I spend too long in the mirror.

What's your experience?
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Dr_Zed's Avatar
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Default 19-01-2021, 11:27 AM

Hai Hughie,

Cheers for your post. I'll respond in more detail if I know you're going to respond to this. Typical approach anxiety issue, Short answer is to go out there and start indirect conversations.

Z


Professional bum. I post here as I have too much time on my hands :P
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Default 19-01-2021, 03:47 PM

Whereabouts in Poland are you, I'm guessing you're able to work remotely... If you were in Warsaw, I would try and hook up with Alex Forrest, he was a late bloomer, only started taking proper action when he was 45, but it shows you, you can turn things around, it's never too late.

But yeah, sure, it's completely normal to strike up a conversation, and if you particularly like the look of the girl and her demeanor, there's no harm asking for her number and trying to set up a date. But I wouldn't jump in straight away and ask for the number, have a bit of a chat first, try and build a bit of rapport, otherwise your chances are going to be slimmer.
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Default 19-01-2021, 04:11 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr_Zed View Post
Hai Hughie,

Cheers for your post. I'll respond in more detail if I know you're going to respond to this. Typical approach anxiety issue, Short answer is to go out there and start indirect conversations.

Z
Yep I'll respond.
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Default 19-01-2021, 04:55 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by HaveACuppaTea View Post
If you were in Warsaw, I would try and hook up with Alex Forrest, he was a late bloomer, only started taking proper action when he was 45, but it shows you, you can turn things around, it's never too late.
Alex and I had a few e-mails exchanged but nothing happened thanks to the pandemic shutting down the summit I was supposed to be attending. He has a book called "52 first dates" which is pretty inexpensive, and details a load of (mostly) daygame dates he had.

But yeah with Tea's advice - you would ideally have a short conversation before bothering to set up a date. I appreciate that being a late-in-life bloomer will likely work against you, but it's better than taking no action at all.

Seek wingmen ideally, identify your sticking points (if your wingmen can't) and work to overcome them.

Z


Professional bum. I post here as I have too much time on my hands :P
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Default 20-01-2021, 08:37 AM

Wow, that's amazing, Z. You really helped!


Hughie,

When you walk up to a person like this in public, you have already assessed this person and the situation, and chosen to approach them with a general goal in mind. For their part they may not have even noticed you until you begin the interaction.

So they may need a few seconds to adjust (literally the executive system in the brain needs to adjust your focus which takes time) to what is happening and a few more to make an assessment of you... especially the kind of assessment you are asking them to make, I e. Do you want to give this physically intimidating person your contact details with a view to meeting then in a probable 1 on 1 situation where ultimately you will be deciding if you want to fuck or not and potentially get married and have kids and all that junk.

For this reason people I know don't usually go straight in like "you are fit, gimme your number".

If you were in a bar type situation where potentially you've made eye contact first and she sees you walking over, she's already had time to do some of that evaluation so being direct right off the bat can work better.

Also, in your examples you deliver a monologue ending with a definitive question after which there is nowhere to go. Try to make it a conversation and allow the other time to adjust. Say "Hello" then pause and let them say "Hello" back and then move on to whatever you want to say next. You know how a conversation goes.

I don't find it necessary to state to a girl that I find her attractive. It's obvious what is going on. If I do state something about her it generally won't be to do with her genetics but rather her decisions. So complimenting eye makeup is better than complimenting eyes or skirt rather than legs, as a general rule. Be authentic with your compliments, of course. If you don't care about that shit don't pretend you do. Better than that is finding something out about her through chat and that being the attractive thing you mention. One goal of such a compliment is to give context to the girl as to why this is happening, if you go in on her face and body they may take that as just wanting to fuck. If she's already hot for you and available, she might be down for that but you are talking about day approaching people who are thinking about where they need to be next or listening to music or just generally lost in their thoughts.

I know you kind of say that you don't want to chat but she does and this isn't about you, you've already decided that you're attracted... you'd fuck her right there if it was an option. This is about her having the space and time to observe you, not only how you look but also to assess your personality a little, work out whether she would feel safe to be alone with you and maybe find out if you have attractive qualities (which many will confirm, for girls that is usually way more than just how we look).


Peace,

kowalski


Like a stray bullet, you niggas misled

Last edited by kowalski; 21-01-2021 at 04:52 PM.
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Default 20-02-2021, 09:26 PM

Replying directly to the OP.

IMO Game is the antithesis of hypergamy. If you don't know what that is then look it up.

Women have many options, effortlessly (that's why a stud commands more respect than a slut). That's how they see us, as 'options'. If not this one then another one will do, whatever. We don't think like this, which is why it's dangerous that we have what's called 'one-itus' (the belief that there is an ideal woman other there for us). The truth is, there are lots. We need a way to have options. Game gives us options. When a woman knows you have other options she treats you with more respect.

I'm trying to make it clear why you MUST get over this fear otherwise you will be like 90% of other males, with women that have settled for them.

There are many ways to get over this fear gradually, but the one thing that they ALL involve is eventually walking up to a girl and talking to her. I won't go over these ways, you are not the first and won't be the last to ask this question.

If you are uncomfortable around women (like I was) then you could do what I did. This goes against some rules but it worked for me. Basically, I saw escorts so that I could 1) Quickly catch up with awesome sex with sexy girls, 2) Be comfortable being dominant with a girl and 3) get better at sex. I have spent money JUST to practice giving girls orgasms not using my dick. When you have the knowledge that you can make a girl scream so much that you have put a pillow over her mouth, you can be more confident talking to girls. Some escorts I've fucked are now my friends who I sometimes fuck for free. It's not ideal but it worked for me.

Anyway.

It's not easy but if you want to live a better life then you have to do it. Listen to what others are saying about how to get over the fear but in the end, let the fear of living a shitty life be the fear that pushes you forward.

Personally, I left it till late in my life, because I was in a long (fucked up) relationship. So now I am catching up fast because I want to be with an awesome woman. I will not settle. A woman will not settle for me. Which means I am also finding my own way. The fear of living a lonely, shitty life pushes me forward like nothing else. Tick tock.

Whatever method you decide (to reduce approach anxiety) let the fear of living a shitty life be the strongest motivator. The best advice I can give personally is don't think, just do it.

Every day, you should be eager to go out and talk to girls. I feel like a greyhound every chance I have to go out and talk to girls. It's addictive AF.

I remember my very first approach, it was like my legs just said 'fuck you, stop thinking, let's go!' to my brain and put me in front of a girl and then said 'over to you' to my brain. It was a Korean girl called Summer, 21, in a museum, she was drawing mosaics and wanted to see more of London. Spoiled rich kid. Anyway, bro, you will have your own stories, and sometimes I think these are some of the best life experiences.

You are on the threshold of a better life, don't be afraid, just let that thought drive you forward. It's going to bumpy, IT"S NOT EASY, nothing in life ever is, but it's gets better fast.

You're a man. You can do it. Women want you to do it. So do it.

TIP - Baseline line that gets through the initial female confused brain.

Greeting (genuine smile) - Compliment (genuine and relevant) - Ask her name - Shake her hand (if you can, if she won't then she's not into you and won't take the risk). If she tells you her name then introduce yourself and take it from there. I usually follow with something obvious that's a little teasing.

For example

Hi, You look amazing/cute/gorgeous/adorable(calibrate), what's your name?

That's it. The rest comes from being confident with yourself.

A woman communicates with emotion, all she see's is a guy who is smiling and asking her a question. As soon as you touch her, she will feel the warmth (don't be cold/sweaty) touch of a human, an energy will pass between you. I can't explain it, but you will bond at that point. Keep hold of her hand gently if you can, touch amplifies trust/comfort which is essential. Always smile genuinely because she could be the love of your life.

Another thing you mention is only being able to see their eyes because of the mask.

DUDE! That's one-itus! If she's ugly, then you don't have to fuck her. In my experience, I've said 'you have lovely eyes' and I've been tested, but I just say plainly 'ok, if you're ugly I'll walk away' or (they love this) 'I'll take the risk for those eyes'. And then, when they lower their mask I'll tell them to put it back on when we have sex LOL, as a joke. Whatever makes them laugh.

Ok, that's enough. Good luck with your journey.

Quote:
Originally Posted by hughie1 View Post
I'm an English guy temporarily in Poland. I don't know if you know but Poland has some very good-looking girls. At the moment everyone is wearing masks all of the time. Though they still look attractive (or maybe they look attractive because their face is covered up, revealing only their eyes.)

I'm 33. I don't look it. I don't feel it. I'm in to younger women. Thing is, I've never had a girlfriend, never had any confidence with women, always been afraid of them. I'm getting on now, I don't want to have this regret. I'm a man. I like women. I want these life experiences. Plus, I want a girlfriend. I want children. Not just yet though.

In spite of the problems with women, I have always felt like a good-looking guy. I've even had a few girls tell me up front they fancy me. I just smiled and said thanks or something.

A few weeks ago I asked a really attractive girl working in a café I'd been frequenting for her phone number. She told me she had a boyfriend. I was just pleased I had the courage to do that for the first time in my life.

I keep seeing hot girls, say, in the shopping mall or some place. I keep feeling like I am in a 'fuck it, get a move on, stop being a pussy' kind of mood and want to just approach a random hot girl. But I'm overcome with fear.

Can I just - and is it normal - to just walk right up to her and say (unscripted) something along the lines of:

"Do you speak English? Even though I can only see your eyes (because the face covering), I like what I see and I am attracted to you. Here's my phone, put your number in it."

Can I just walk in to a shop after noticing a hot sales clerk and tell her straight I like her and want her number. No bullshit, no pussyfooting, no daft small talk (hate that). Just bold, confident.

Is a girl likely to be receptive to this?

I think I worry about my age. I worry they'll think I am creepy. A weirdo. Creepy foreign guy. I am well groomed and take good care of myself. If anything, I spend too long in the mirror.

What's your experience?
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Wink 14-03-2021, 12:22 PM

Not sure why you worry so much about your age. 33 is a perfect age!
Women love experienced and mature men. Especially Polish women.

You could use the fact that you are foreign and start a casual conversation with a woman. Ask for help with translation or whatever, then chat more and ask her for a number.
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Default 19-05-2021, 09:20 PM

I have noticed that I have far less approach anxiety when approaching European women. I can go direct on them very easily. But find it very hard to go direct on English women for some reason. So you should really go for it in Poland.
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Default 20-12-2023, 10:27 PM

Mate, frustrated? Be confidently bold, add some Polish charm, age ain't a dealbreaker, focus on meaningful connections, respect personal space, learn from rejections.
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