If you're not happy to begin with, Pick-Up may make it worse.

[Paddy]

This is just a little thing that I've been thinking over, that seems like common sense after contemplation.

Often we go into pick-up with an aching sense of neediness. Maybe you've been indirectly chasing one girl for over a year, and whether you like to admit it or not, you do so much due to the fact you are self conscious. Maybe you just feel socially awkward, and therefore under pressure to fit in, and even impress your peers by being some kind of stud. Maybe you just have the lingering feeling in your mind that you *need to get laid*. This one is probably the least harmful, but wherever you are coming from, if you are not happy with your own life to begin with, then it's going to be a very painful uphill struggle, with potentially unfulfilling rewards at the top.

This is because a huge amount of the things we do are due to rationalizations. We have so many hypothetical problems in our minds like 'sperm wars' dominance, being consistently witty, and generally trying to get women to thing we're the shit. And then often we don't even try to fuck them. A lot of pua's talk about the classic 'feeding your ego', which in a sense is appeasing that itchy part of your mind by telling it 'I *could* have fucked her', and then it goes away for a bit. But then even if you do fuck them, you may be left with a sort of empty feeling afterwards. This is because we are very vulnerable to our ego's conditioning, and when these things are suddenly dragged into the light of day they look a lot less appealing. Thing Scrubs when JD finally gets Elliot and he's like "ZOMG I don't even want her now". So I'm not suggesting we go all fight club and shave our heads exactly, but rather go a bit Wittgenstein, and stop over thinking and start knowing.

The other day I was really bummed out. I get depressed during winter, and all my problems feel triple the size, so when I'm focused on pua ideas, or even that yearning need to be getting female affection, my mind gets all dizzy with stupid crap I've read about evolutionary psychology, frame control, social status etc etc, and you start getting TD's old 'Am I a dude or am I a chode?' problem. So when I was starting to feel really crap, I was like fuck it, and just decided to cozy up, watch a DVD and stop thinking about it. And within about 20 minutes I felt great. What came to me then was the realization that all these problems are hypothetical, and largely irrelevant. I suddenly felt more in the moment, and I realized that I have so much good in my life already, things that I for some reason wasn't appreciating. I mean look at your room; it's basically your own zen garden, cultivated by your honest identity, things that make you happy because you want them, not because you think you *need* them. And so this is the place to begin from, that life that is nurtured by you from your own honest, inner sense of being, and not from a confusing influence of other people. Ask yourself, 'What would I do if I was the last man on earth?', in the sense that your life is your own to make, and your mental health is your own to look after, and you can't depend on other people to always give you the appreciation and affection you desire.

In this sense, imagine it like building a good solid core of happiness. So if some bitch does rip you apart, in any manner of speaking, all you're going to fall through onto is that big pile of pillows you've put out for yourself. No doubt this will likely help you're game too, but that's not the point. It's basically called being a normal, well rounded person, but it's surprising and concerning how easy it is to forget to do this, since so many of us are actually just 'keeping up appearances', and not actually taking care of our mental health outside of our yearn for women. It's almost like re-evaluating your focalization, re-assessing your values, by thinking on a largely subjectively pragmatic scale.

Anyway, I hope I've managed to say something of value rather than a solipsistic wankathon.

[Joker]

It's all connected. It's like chicken an egg.

Not having to worry quiet so much about where your next pussy is coming from is the single most liberating thing in the world. It's relaxing. It's gives a man clarity in relation to everything else in his life.

You don't have to put up with some nagging self centred bitch you are dating who wants you to put all your dreams and aspirations on hold to finance her holidays to the carriban/house/baby plans...because you know where your next pussy is coming from (and it needn't nessarily be her's).

You don't have to fear those nights in, in your own company watching dvds because you'll welcome those calm periods of reflection and recharge. Since you can CHOOSE them...because you know where your next pussy is coming from. You 'could' have had some girl in bed next to you sucking you off if you wanted, but tonight, for a change, you'd just rather watch an entire season of the sopranos while chain smoking joints instead...Because you want to.It's your call. it's not your fate.

It means you don't have to work 20 years at a job you hate to pay for someone woman that doesn't really flick your switches in bed but might just occasionally begrudgingly give you some pussy, when she's not grinding you down into a ball-broken pathetic nub of the man you once were or perhaps could have/should have become but never did for fear of being alone.

The amount of stablity and security and mental well being that comes from knowing you can get yourself laid when ever and where ever isn't something to be sniffed at. It puts a man in the driving seat in all his relationships. You stop being a slave to pussy. You don't need to clinge to your current pussy provider for dear life, it's not a rolling contract, with more and more add-ons year after year.. you don't need to stay with 'that' provider once all the joining offers and privillages have run out...and you realise the reception sucks.

Hell no.

You can see a negative relationship or individual for what it/or she is. You'll be liberated from that 'neediness' because you'll literally not be needy. You'll be able to get 'some' pussy most of the time. Which will allow you to focus on which pussy/s you WANT rather than on bending over backwards in other aspects of your life to appease the only one that you happen to have access to right now... because you NEED it.

Dudes stumble into love less marriages and drawn out relationships that ruin their ENTIRE adult lives all because they fear being alone or rejected and it all comes back to the fear of not knowing where the next pussy is coming from.

It's so sad. And alot of these guys end up 30/40 -something divorced, lose the house, lose the kids, winde up climbing up big ben dressed up like batman begging for the right to see children that some other other motherfucker who is now fucking his ex wife gets to raise in the house he paid for!!!

On way jose.

I don't think there is a single thing on earth that gives a man more confidence and stablity and mental well being than the knowledge that he can get laid one way or another with a new woman, most of the time.

If you know you can, you won't worry so much and start to focus energy on other shit. Life becomes a series of opportunites and experiences rather than a bunch of tests you have to constantly fear failing.

That's my ten cents.

Phew.

What a great post Paddy and Joker.

I can kind of relate to it. I'm in a relationship with a girl right now, been with her for 2 years, and she's very needy and clingy. Sometimes, I wana get out, but fear for her life due to her being so obsessed with me. Other times, I feel happy knowing I have her. Sometimes, I don't know if I would regret ending it or not. So I just go with the flow for now.

I find myself, always wanting more pussy. Always wanting a nicer looking girl, always wanting more sex, and always wanting more girls. But I feel she is limiting me. She is NOT down for group sex. Soo ya know

Dan

[chops147]

I remember at the start of this I pulled a girl who pre-game I considered to be my ten.
whilst shagging her I thought what the fuck I should be happy but I'm not totaly lost enthusiasm for it.
but without learning this I would never have got her and thus never would have realised it doesn't matter It's about being a man.

[Phil]

Originally Posted by chops147

I remember at the start of this I pulled a girl who pre-game I considered to be my ten.
whilst shagging her I thought what the fuck I should be happy but I'm not totaly lost enthusiasm for it.
.

its ok to be gay!

[chops147]

Originally Posted by Phil

its ok to be gay!

thanks phill but you're not my type I need a gentle and caring lover

[Refl3x]

Originally Posted by chops147

thanks phill but you're not my type I need a gentle and caring lover

Up the bum...no harm done