how to approach and not look needy!

[pua123]

hey guys, how do you approach and not look needy? i would be going out alone as well, so this will amplify the needyness lol :P.

also what is the best situation to approach a woman. i've heard moving sets are alot harder to handle. so ones that dont move? lol. the thing is when you approach them it just looks needy dont it. i know voice tone and body language is a big issue here. so are there any good videos out there showing a guy opening, so you can see the correct body language, that i can kind of imitate.

[Craigus]

Originally Posted by pua123

hey guys, how do you approach and not look needy? i would be going out alone as well, so this will amplify the needyness lol :P.

also what is the best situation to approach a woman. i've heard moving sets are alot harder to handle. so ones that dont move? lol. the thing is when you approach them it just looks needy dont it. i know voice tone and body language is a big issue here. so are there any good videos out there showing a guy opening, so you can see the correct body language, that i can kind of imitate.

I'm no expert, by no means - I still have AA when approaching, and so for me, there are a couple of things that I have to consider with my approach.

1, my energy level - it needs to be just right, which I think is just a little above the energy level of the set that I am approaching. If the set seems quite low-energy, and they are just talking or chilling out, it's no good going in with masses of energy, bouncing off the walls, cos I'd probably just scare them! lol. Likewise, if I am approaching a set of girls that are really high-energy and are dancing, laughing, jumping and having fun, I can't walk up with really low energy, chilled-out and be like "hey, whassup?" because they are gonna be like - 'wow, this guy is a real downer!'

2, my opener - some people say it kinda doesn't matter what the fuck you open with, just open. But in some cases, it does - like the above example of a set dancing and having fun, I wouldn't be able to go up with an opinion opener or something like that - everything is situational, and in this situation a direct approach would work better: "wow, hey girls! you have some kick-ass moves going on over here! This is where the party is at!"

Personally, I find it extra difficult to approach moving sets, but I know that Rebus is an absolute master at this. Having watched him, it's all about being direct, being ballsy, with high energy, and not giving a shit if you get blown out! lol.

I don't think approaching is inherently needy - if I am coming across needy, it's because my body language and my energy levels are not right. I have done some work on body language for my job (I'm in media sales), and it's all about lowering your shoulders, keeping your head high, and smiling. Absolutely do not put your hands in your pockets - use them! Leaving your hands down by your side like a couple of dead pieces of meat is just as bad as putting them in your pockets - use your hands to illustrate and emphasise when you are talking - even better, do a little kino: touch the back of the girls arm, and when there is enough comfort, the small of her back.

A good point on body language I'd like to make once you have made your approach, and you are comfortably 'in-set', is to use your legs and your feet a lot - move around; don't be static. The phrase 'happy feet' is used for a reason: believe it or not, our feet convey more about our emotional state than our faces, and if you are rooted to the spot, you will look uncomfortable and it will make it harder to build rapport/comfort.

I'd highly recommend a book called "What Every Body Is Saying" by Joe Navarro - he is an ex-FBI interrogator and has many really interesting insights into how you can both read other people's body language, and how you can alter yours in order to build rapport with a person.

I've never been out sarging by myself, so I can't really say much on going out solo. But I think that you could use this to your advantage in your opener:
"Hey girls, can you believe it - I was supposed to meet my friend here and he's just stood me up! So now I need some new friends! Will you be my friends?" Do that with confidence and cockyness, and I reckon it'd work a treat!

I hope this all helps!

Much love,

Craigus

[Maxemillion]

I just previewed and ordered that book. Its exactly the kind of stuff I like to read, cheers dude. Its only 6quid on amazon inc delivery.

[Craigus]

Originally Posted by Maxemillion

I just previewed and ordered that book. Its exactly the kind of stuff I like to read, cheers dude. Its only 6quid on amazon inc delivery.

No probs, dude - thats a bargain, and it's a great book - I might do a little review soon and stick in the reviews section of the forum.

Much love,

Craigus

[Rebus]

Originally Posted by Maxemillion

I just previewed and ordered that book. Its exactly the kind of stuff I like to read, cheers dude. Its only 6quid on amazon inc delivery.

Originally Posted by Craigus

No probs, dude - thats a bargain, and it's a great book - I might do a little review soon and stick in the reviews section of the forum.

Just did another order here, too!

Craigus, you are clearly branching out into a wider range of media sales!

PUA Forum Book of The Week: "What Every Body Is Saying" by Joe Navarro