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Default What can you say on the streets to meet women? - 04-09-2021, 01:40 PM

I recently was in Soho and was just wandering the streets, just having fun. Went to pubs, talked to people next to me and made new friends - but when I am on the streets and I see groups over groups of sexy women I wanna talk to them.

But they don't even notice me, and I dont know how to open without saying cringey stuff like "oh I just saw you from over there and thought you're cute".

Let's be honest. That's just cringey stuff. If I were approached like this I'd think they watched too many flirt channels on youtube.

So weird man.

Do you have any openers that feel more natural?
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(#2)
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dan300's Avatar
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Default 04-09-2021, 07:32 PM

The most natural opener is the one that comes naturally.

Ok, so that's me being a sarcastic dick out of the way...

If you need to think about what to say or try to think about it, then it won't appear natural.

You might see a girl you like. Your first thought is wow, she looks gorgeous, and super cute wearing that hen party sash. Then you start thinking "what could I say to her? I'll just go and tell her she's very attractive! No, goddammit, that's too forward. Shit, now I'm overthinking it!" etc.

When I'd probably just say the first thing that came into my head which right now would be "hey I like your pretty sash, I think it would really suit me"

Hen party girls are always up for a laugh and you'd get any number of responses to this, and they'll be 99% positive. It might not really lead anywhere because they're always on the move, but you might get a random hit-and-run kiss or something (because they're having a laugh). I've had hit-and-run kisses from hen party girls before. Sure, it doesn't mean much, but it can put you in good form if your evening has just begun.

Anyways, I may have got carried away with that hen party example but that's all it was, an example. It should, however, highlight how overcomplicated we often make 'approaches'.

Also, I'm going to test out that line I just made up.


You can't win if you don't play
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Default 04-09-2021, 09:58 PM

Yeah but I am blank at the moment and not all of them wear fancy sashes. In fact I haven't seen any.

I usually approach people by just cutting in on a conversation like "Oh you speak japanese? Are you a language student. So cool".

Sometimes I just watch people play shuffleboard and just ask who's winning.

But these party girls always seem in their own world and unapproachable, if that makes sense?

I might add I come from a very stuck up and rude region, that probably plays a little into it aswell.
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kowalski's Avatar
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Default 05-09-2021, 08:08 PM

What you are saying makes no sense whatsoever. Natural is an expression of your personal prejudices, nothing more.

You want us to give you something that will feel natural to you. What feels natural to you is to do nothing. That's what you've always done. Anything else is going to feel unnatural. You have to suck it up. I rollerblade, that shit felt Hella unnatural to begin with. Now they feel like an extension of my being. Switching weight dynamically heel/toe is just like breathing. There's no way to matrix it all into your brain. You have to go through the process of the new thing feeling unnatural until it doesn't.

It is definitely cringey to say "I just saw you from over there and thought you're cute" though. One would say "hi, you are cute" and then one would keep talking. There's a world of difference between the two. "I just" reduction of yourself to "just" like it is just this nothing more, only little me with a little interruption, please ignore me I have no confidence. "See you from over there" does it matter where you were, what's that information for? Is that your alibi is she a cop? And why are you admitting to stalking then from afar and observing them? "I thought" also no, that is past tense and only your opinion. "I think" is present tense, which would be better but why couch it, just stating it as an independent fact "you are cute".

Now everyone knows why we are here. That's a good thing. She's cute, you wanna bang. She hasn't got an opinion on you yet. They are attracted to personality and status etc. That takes time to display to them. So that's what you need to do next.

... and that would be great for a girl on her own but not ideal for a group of girls whooping it up in the streets. That shit is dumb easy. Girls are boring as fuck, not a single one of them has any conversational chops, they hate each other and they lack direction.

Give them a focal point, create a fake narrative, pump up the energy. Sometimes you'll swing and miss, that's just what it is. Usually when I approach in my head all I've got is "excuse me" or "hey listen..." and I panic but I keep putting one foot in front of the other till I arrive and then I say "excuse me" and then I keep talking. And that's all that matters. If you go over, you'll say something. You are not gonna say nothing. Your mouth and brain will get together and force some kind of sounds, hopefully words, out in to the world.

You might not know how to fight and are possibly a pacifist, but if you walk into a ring and someone starts throwing punches at you, you'll start fighting... on the walk to the ring things will start happening inside to prepare you and they will also be screaming at you "running is also an option, let's just run, bro".

Sometimes I'll have something prepared because the moment presents something to me that I can work with and that's great but it's not the norm.

Whatever you say isn't going to be any better or worse than "oh you speak Japanese". Hey just say that even if they don't. Who cares. They say "no we don't" then make a joke out of it. Just say that to everybody when you don't know what to say. That's your new opener for everyone "oh wow, you speak Japanese". You'll soon have seen most of the ways people respond to that and maybe have some stock follow ups for when they reply in ways you've seen before.

It doesn't matter and it won't make any difference long term. Sometimes it is gonna suck and be embarrassing. That's when you laugh at yourself and the absurdity of existence.

So there you go, you have to walk over. That's all there is to it. Stop being a pussy or don't get any.


Peace,

kowalski


Drunk driving on a Wednesday

Last edited by kowalski; 05-09-2021 at 08:11 PM.
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Default 06-09-2021, 02:15 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by kowalski View Post
What you are saying makes no sense whatsoever. Natural is an expression of your personal prejudices, nothing more.

You want us to give you something that will feel natural to you. What feels natural to you is to do nothing. That's what you've always done. Anything else is going to feel unnatural. You have to suck it up. I rollerblade, that shit felt Hella unnatural to begin with. Now they feel like an extension of my being. Switching weight dynamically heel/toe is just like breathing. There's no way to matrix it all into your brain. You have to go through the process of the new thing feeling unnatural until it doesn't.

It is definitely cringey to say "I just saw you from over there and thought you're cute" though. One would say "hi, you are cute" and then one would keep talking. There's a world of difference between the two. "I just" reduction of yourself to "just" like it is just this nothing more, only little me with a little interruption, please ignore me I have no confidence. "See you from over there" does it matter where you were, what's that information for? Is that your alibi is she a cop? And why are you admitting to stalking then from afar and observing them? "I thought" also no, that is past tense and only your opinion. "I think" is present tense, which would be better but why couch it, just stating it as an independent fact "you are cute".

Now everyone knows why we are here. That's a good thing. She's cute, you wanna bang. She hasn't got an opinion on you yet. They are attracted to personality and status etc. That takes time to display to them. So that's what you need to do next.

... and that would be great for a girl on her own but not ideal for a group of girls whooping it up in the streets. That shit is dumb easy. Girls are boring as fuck, not a single one of them has any conversational chops, they hate each other and they lack direction.

Give them a focal point, create a fake narrative, pump up the energy. Sometimes you'll swing and miss, that's just what it is. Usually when I approach in my head all I've got is "excuse me" or "hey listen..." and I panic but I keep putting one foot in front of the other till I arrive and then I say "excuse me" and then I keep talking. And that's all that matters. If you go over, you'll say something. You are not gonna say nothing. Your mouth and brain will get together and force some kind of sounds, hopefully words, out in to the world.

You might not know how to fight and are possibly a pacifist, but if you walk into a ring and someone starts throwing punches at you, you'll start fighting... on the walk to the ring things will start happening inside to prepare you and they will also be screaming at you "running is also an option, let's just run, bro".

Sometimes I'll have something prepared because the moment presents something to me that I can work with and that's great but it's not the norm.

Whatever you say isn't going to be any better or worse than "oh you speak Japanese". Hey just say that even if they don't. Who cares. They say "no we don't" then make a joke out of it. Just say that to everybody when you don't know what to say. That's your new opener for everyone "oh wow, you speak Japanese". You'll soon have seen most of the ways people respond to that and maybe have some stock follow ups for when they reply in ways you've seen before.

It doesn't matter and it won't make any difference long term. Sometimes it is gonna suck and be embarrassing. That's when you laugh at yourself and the absurdity of existence.

So there you go, you have to walk over. That's all there is to it. Stop being a pussy or don't get any.


Peace,

kowalski
If I could "thanks" a post multiple times, this post would be it.

OP, Kowalski is completely right. Getting good with women is a process and in the beginning it's going to feel very unnatural.

Allow yourself to mess it up a few times, to look like a fool and not take yourself too seriously. Of course, always be extremely emphatic and respectful to what someone else is experiencing and never be afraid to apologise. But don't be afraid of (quote) "failing" (unquote).

Once you let go of having to look a certain way to others and not wanting to look like a fool, you'll start taking yourself less seriously and coming across more genuinely.

You'll realise that the less seriously you take yourself, the more "natural" you will become and conversations will become easier. .

A really good mindset that I heard, "the opener doesn't exist, just treat the set like it's already open" meaning talk to people with full familiarity like you already know them and don't make a big song and dance about the conversation starter.

In terms of what to say, I've always found a genuine compliment will tend to work fine and then I just switch topic and talk about whatever.

Try it out OP, go out, talk to people, write a FR, analyse what you did right and what you did wrong, then go out the next day and work on your weak points. You do that over a few months/years you'll look back on your early posts and be amazed at your progress


"For we walk by faith, not by sight"

"Nothing to lose, everything to learn"

"Either you win or you learn how to win"
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Default 06-09-2021, 05:35 PM

Of course it's a process. But I honestly just want to get some examples of things you can say. In the moment, when I'm out again, I'll just say something LIKE that. Don't even ask for a generic line I'd bring all the time. I just want some sort of guideline.

"Hey girl sexy shoes, wanna fuck in the alley" is obviously not gonna work. Let's be real.

There are simply things that work better than others. So do you just not want to help me out and just leave me on my own?
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Stein's Avatar
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Default 06-09-2021, 10:24 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by DaredevilDom View Post
Of course it's a process. But I honestly just want to get some examples of things you can say. In the moment, when I'm out again, I'll just say something LIKE that. Don't even ask for a generic line I'd bring all the time. I just want some sort of guideline.

"Hey girl sexy shoes, wanna fuck in the alley" is obviously not gonna work. Let's be real.

There are simply things that work better than others. So do you just not want to help me out and just leave me on my own?
There are things that work better than others. Here's the rub though. You have literally no idea what that would be for any given person, and it can be different from person to person. There is no point in trying to perfect it because for one, you can't and for another, it doesn't really matter.

An opener seriously doesn't matter. Like I don't even remember what the hell I've started conversations with recently. If your vibe is right and you come off as congruent and chill any old bullshit will work. If you seem all uptight like you've got one stuck in the chamber you'll come off weird even if it's a good opener.

The key thing is being able to move on past the opener. An opener will not do the work for you no matter how good it is. People get an opener they think is awesome, walk up, drop it and just let that shit hang there like a dry fart without any attempt to move things forward or redirect the conversation from there. So even if you had the perfect opener you'd be back here a couple weeks after complaining that you can open now but can't hook.

Nowadays I don't even think about it. The one I used to use going out in London was "Hey, are you from London?" - Cause practically no one in Central London is. Either way it goes you have an immediate direction you can pivot off into. It's also enough of a nothing that it's easy to just fly past and move into a conversation from there.

So there you go, there's one. Simple, easy, works, got me laid a bunch. Now go get on with it.


Y'all think it's bougie, I'm like, it's fine
But I'm tryin' to give you a million dollars worth of game for $9.99
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Default 07-09-2021, 05:29 PM

Why does this forum feel like me vs you so much?

Could have just said "try "are you from london"" insteas of telling me why I shouldnt question your answers.

If you haven't noticed I feel lost and don't know what to saywhen to approach. Your advice is "go approach"


Maybe it's not important but your methods here are just questionable
Maybe that's why the forums dead? Hmm..
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Default 07-09-2021, 07:18 PM

My advice wasn't just "go approach". You have an opener that works - I gave you one and it's gotten me laid a bunch in the past. If you want to act offended by my tone then whatever, honestly I think you're just reading hostility into it dude. I wasn't trying to be rude to you at all.

I didn't say you shouldn't question my answers either. If you have questions go ahead. But I did spend most of my reply explaining why asking for openers isn't a useful question, because it isn't. Again, the opener doesn't matter. Vibe and the ability to move on past the opener do. So your focus should be on those things.

If these methods seem questionable, question them. I can explain in detail how and why it'll help you get laid. I'm happy to give advice but it works the way it works, and sorry to break it to you but a lot of your preconceptions about how it works are going to be wrong. If they weren't you'd have already figured this out.

Or, you know, you can get annoyed because you aren't being humoured and find some PU coach with a financial interest in doing that for you. Your call dude, you're the one who's frustrated here.


Y'all think it's bougie, I'm like, it's fine
But I'm tryin' to give you a million dollars worth of game for $9.99
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(#10)
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Default 07-09-2021, 07:18 PM

Because you might as well be asking “what’s the best colour shirt to be a good French speaker”. And we are saying “that has nothing to do with your ability to speak French”.

And, you already know that you have no clue and that we are experts, who you came hat in hand to begging for help from. We gave you that help for free using time from our lives out of the goodness of our hearts sharing hard earned knowledge with the unworthy, and your whole thing is “no, fuck you, you suck… what colour shirt do I need”.

I have never behaved like that in my life when consulting experts on their topic. I have such a huge ego, according to you, yet I’m able to recognise my shortcomings, openly admit them and with humility accept my position in the world and appreciate the help I receive from those who are better than I am.

You should try it one time.


Peace,

kowalski


Drunk driving on a Wednesday

Last edited by kowalski; 07-09-2021 at 07:24 PM.
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